A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I haven't been intimate with anyone for over 5 years. I haven't even kissed anyone. So much time has passed, now I am worried that I have some intimacy issues along with trust issues.I guess I have taken a break from the whole thing since I had some bad experiences in the past and I really haven't found anyone I feel I can serious with.People are starting to tell me that I will be a "spinster" my whole life and are also saying other cruel things.Do you think I have a problem? 5 years is a long time. I am also afraid the next person I date will find it hard to believe and accept.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): First of all you dont need to feel bad for not being intimant in the last 5 years. It could just be that you havent found what your looking for in any of the men you have met and rather that getting 'íntimant' like so many people do with people they have no feelings for (putting their health and emotions on the line) you have chosen not to.
In saying that you havent mentioned what the bad incident you had 5 years ago was. It may be beneficial for you to get sme counselling to work through your feelings about what happened.
Also im curious as to what you have been doing these past 5 years? Have you been socially outgoing, do you work, have hobbies etc or do you more keep to yourself?
Try not to worry so much about the time frame, fall in love with yourself again even if this means counselling, try and keep your interests varied and most importantly have fun.
It is no mans buisness how long you have been celibate for and there is no reason you even have to tell them.
I am of the opinion that most men would prefer a girl who hasent been around the block several times in the past 5 years.
One last thing remember when it comes to men its QUALITY not QUANTITY.
You will meet the right man for you and he will be worth the wait!!!!
A
female
reader, kurlyq2121  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 Not a problem, at all. you'll find the right guy. You just haven't found him yet and that's totally ok. Everyone has that someone out there. There own "Prince Charming" if you will. So as long as you have hope, it'll happen. =]
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