| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I'm in trouble. I stopped going to a certain christian church three months ago because the pastor would compliment me all the time. He never stopped mentioning how beautiful I am in front of everyone in church. Always after the service he would give me a hug goodbye. I began to fall for him plus he is very handsome and friendly. He is in his early 30s, I find him attractive but never say it. I began to realise that what I'm doing is wrong because my pastor is a married man with a kid. Today after three months he saw me walking with my friend on the street, him in his car with his wife passing us by he greeted me with a warm smile then drove away. My friend never met my pastor before she began telling me how hot he is. Those feelings came back, I don't know what to do. Ever since my current boyfriend and me started dating I never fell for anyone it is only today when I saw the pastor. What do I do? Him and his wife seem to have issues because she did not bother to greet us she always looks upset or unsure around me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2016):
 I remember your last post, and you have done the right thing leaving the church. Just because you have saw him this one time does not mean you need to undo all your hard work and go back to his church, that would be a silly move and you know it.
Maybe his wife did not greet you because she was thinking off something else, or maybe she was just not interested, don't read in to it. She is not jealous of you or anything am sure. She probably just sees you as some kid that used to be in her husbands parish.
Stay with the church you are at now, spend time with your boyfriend and do what you know is right.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016): I think you did the right thing to leave! Maybe Preacher knew you liked him and liked you back or is having marital issues, but his behavior in my opinion is VERY inappropriate. He is in position of authority/leadership over you and others. He has an example to set and a flock to guide. Also... He's married! If you were both single, I'd still think it would be better for you to attend a sister church if there's one in the area. At least until you were engaged or something. Just my opinion.But I think you did the right thing by leaving because a) he could go back to her and leave you shamed b) stay w you and make you be the homewrecker c) his poor wife will have rumors that its her fault d) you and her will be the bad guy no matter what and e) your church members will have a hard time taking him seriously.Even now, they may be wagging their tongues anyway thinking you're hiding. Oh well on them! True Christians will know you left to keep yourself above reproach. Preacher's wife may suspect you or feel like crap about herself.My advice is to find a similar church (go church shopping). Once you find one, if asked by the new preacher you can always say, "I don't want to go into details but I was no longer comfortable at Washington Street Bible Church" If you run into an old church friend you could say, "I go to Adam's Ave Bible Church now, I prefer not to ho into details."If you see Preacher again and his wife, you can say, "hi Preacher, hi Miss Preacher. Yes, just getting some groceries, nice seeing you." And move on. It will die down, I promise.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (16 October 2016):
 Find another church - or don't go at all. The lord will understand. You know what is right don't you. You don't need us to tell you.
If you are weighing up missing church against having an affair with the pastor - who is incidentally married - then I think the right course of action is clear.
Remember the Christian Church is more about community than a particular belief. There are more than 2000 sects in America all believing different versions of the Christian tale. You would very quickly become a pariah if you ever let this situation with the pastor develop.
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