A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am turning 20 later this year, and still have very little interest in dating or romance. I have never been on a date and never even been kissed. It's not for lack of opportunities - I just finished my first year of college and got asked out a number of times. I just can't seem to work up the interest or the motivation to want to date. It seems like more trouble than it's worth. I'm not a very romantic or sappy person, and my attitude towards sex ranges from "eh, I guess sex would be nice someday, don't want to die a virgin" to "ew, no, do not want, sex is gross" on any given day. I tend to be very quiet, but I have friends and am not a hermit. I do get crushes on guys occasionally, so I'm pretty sure I'm not lesbian or asexual. (Unfortunately I've been interested in someone for a while and although we are friends, he apparently has absolutely zero interest in me.) A year ago I did have a very unpleasant experience with an online "relationship" with someone much older who was basically a predator, and during that time he pressured me into doing some sexual stuff on webcam, which I just found kind of gross and did not enjoy. Sometimes I think this has put me off the idea of finding somebody. Even if that hadn't happened, though, I still don't know if I'd be into the idea of dating. I just don't *care* about finding a boyfriend and I think most people's obsession with having a significant other is silly and pointless.So... yeah. What if anything is wrong with me? Is this a remotely normal way to feel?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 May 2012):
 I don't think there is anything wrong with you, you are still young and enjoying your life I am sure, so I wouldn't worry, if you don't feel like dating at the moment then just do not do it, simple as, do what makes you happy, live your life the way you want to as long as you are happy.
However this predator that you talk about, this does not sound healthy to me, and I am aware that he made you feel uncomfortable which could be why you are just not wanting to trust any other men, these kind of things can effect a person, so I think you should maybe go and talk to someone about how this person made you feel, maybe a close friend or even a professional, because there might be deeper feelings there than you might actually realise. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (19 May 2012):
 Normal is such an over used word and personally i dont like it.It seems that you have lost trust in guys due to the way you have been treated and seen in the long term it hasnt made you happy and you are okay as you are. The biggest reasons i can think of why you arent interested in anyone is cause of this person you are into who doesnt feel the same way back as you dont see yourself liking anyone else and are kind of loyal i guess to him, maybe without realising it. I wouldnt say you are unusual at all. You are young and have plenty of time in the future to worry about it (if you ever do) just enjoy your friends because they are the true ones in the world :)
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