A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:I am turning 32 next month and hence have been thinking about relationships a lot. I have had three boyfriends and they all hurt me and dumped. I have trust issues and think men are horrible. I also blame myself for not being beautiful enough for them. How do I move on from all this and stop blaming myself. How do I become positive about relationships again? I am so confused and scared that I am getting older and will be a lonely bitter old woman. Please help.
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male
reader, Luaris  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 As a guy it seems like you would be an ideal girlfeiend. From your past experiences you are eager to connect with someone and as long as you find someone who truly cares for you it could make for a very fulfilling relationship. Once you find a good guy you will appreciate him more and because you will be so enthusiastic over him he will feel good about himself. Just make sure you find one of the few good ones of us left and not one of the many bad ones. I dont really know you but I get the impression that you could very well meet someone nice. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): listen to me,
of course you are beautiful as everyone is in there own way and if that is a mans reason for dumping you then you should not want him anyway as he must be really shallow. Maybe next time you find a guy you like try not to put up a brick wall, the best way of doing this is to just think of him as a girl. It may sound silly but it works. if you had fallen out with one of your girl friends you probably wouldnt have as much trouble getting back on top and finding new friends. With men you just need to do this and try your hardest not to push them away. also do not blame yourself, and even if the reason is partly to do with you just think to yourself what could you do to change this or thihnk why should i change im fine the way i am!
Have fun finding a new man :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): What were your exes' reasons for ending the relationship? There are a few arseholes out there so it's possible your first boyfriend was one. But how did your lack of trust affect the way you behaved around the others and how you treated them? Did you become easily jealous and possessive or not give them space? Because guys don't generally like that (I think some girls do but most don't.)
If not, I'm with satindesire, see if there are any patterns in the relationships. I had a few failed relationships that all ended for the same reasons and the guys had most of the same qualities. So I looked for a guy who had different qualities and so far it's working for me, as I have a new boyfriend and right now I'm very happy with the relationship. Just sit back and compare relationships and think where it went wrong. Come back and tell us and we'll help you rectify it =]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Not all men are bad, my father worked so hard to feed and clothe his kids and supplied my mother with money to spend on her self daily, she cheated on him kicked him out with nothing and he slept in his car for two years before getting a flat but still had to sleep on a concrete floor as my mum put him so far in debt, he couldnt afford nothing. I moved in just so he could get parenting payment and not have to be lonly, not all men are basterds there are sweet ones out there. My father has had no woman, no sex nothing for more then 6 years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): i think when we have bad experiences then we can turn a bit better and become negative in meeting new guys. they can sense this insecurity and run a mile.
if things dont work out with a guy dont blame yourself. its them that are the assholes. just think you are a stronger person in each relationship and learn more every time! try to forget about men and concentrate on what you want out of life and how to be happy for Yourself. you cant look for love it should find you =)
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