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female
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*TUPIDCUPID
writes: Hello!I am 26 and never had a serious relationship. I used to suffer form shyness and low self esteem but I am now happy, look great (in my opinion) and have good confidence. The thing is I go on dates but I never get passed about 4 or 5 dates. The guy always ends up dumping me without telling me why. I am told by men I am funny, cute and a good laugh e.t.c and I always have great dates but they never go anywhere. I have been thinking that maybe due to the past I may come across as a bit needy and also I tend to jump in feet first and tell them my life story by the 3rd date. The thing is I would like to know how can I change yet still remain myself? Also I have tried Internet dating 3 times, blind dating, the works. It never works out. I have an active social life but I do not know any single people what so ever. Where can I meet a single man?Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): Thumbs up, Smeedle-good advice! Dear, I have no idea where you can meet a single guy, because they are everywhere. But...you can make them find you! Men love big, bright smiles. Having a winning smile and radiating confidence and inner happiness, will make them take note. The key is to be approachable. Staying well-groomed helps and looking your best because the truth is..physical attraction does 'get the guy to notice you in the first place'. Then that's when you dazzle them with your charm and brilliant smile! You want to attract a guy who shares some of your interests and values. You can meet him at a library if you love to read...you can meet him at the stables if you love to horseback ride...or on a ski hill..at the beach. The possibilities are endless. But the safest, most sensible route to go-just network among family and friends. Get them involved!
As Smeedle said, an air of mystery helps. Don't 'bare your soul' the first few dates. Get to know the guy as a 'friend'...no pressures! The most long lasting relationships..are built on respect and friendship. But the best thing to do...is to be yourself..laugh, joke, have fun. Be really happy with who you are and believe in yourself and it will happen..,guarunteed! Take care, hun
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (7 February 2006):
 Hi, well first let me tell you that you are not alone, lots of people make the mistake of "too much too soon" and this can be intimidating to someone who was initially attratcted to the fun loving wonderful girl you obviously are.
You need to learn the technique of mystery, give a little but not a lot, this will keep blokes guessing and keen to find out more.
You dont need to change who you are, just how much you tell these relative strangers, soul barring is for a seriouse and committed long haul relationship.
You do need to get out and meet a variety of blokes so think about going further afield, go to an ice rink they are excellent for bumping into men, try a sport maybe, the gym has lots of men in it, (make sure they are single)
Try sitting in a coffe bar in town at lunch time on your own, you will be surprised the amount of single blokes that go in for a coffee.
Think about all the places single blokes go, bars, clubs, etc.
Do you have any friends you can go to places with, if so enlist there help on the "meet new blokes" challenge.
You sound like a really fantastic woman so go out and have some fun, fun, fun.
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