A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my fiance. but she's so jealous, she drives me crazy.She checkes my cell phone, emails, laptop, called me all day, evry 30 mins, showed up at my office, throws a tantrum if i come home even 5 mins late frm work late. she said i cant watch tv, cos there would be beautiful girls on commercials, i cant read magazines, or read the newspaper, i cant go out with anyone but her, no frens, not even guys. i cant listen to female singers, cannot so much at glance at other women. canot speak to waitresses or sales girls. i have to look at the ground when we walk in public, in case heaven forbid, i were to accidentally look at another woman. i canot watch football cos of the commercials, or anything on tv that has females. because of the euro, i watched football behind her back, now she wants to disconnect paid tv. i have to ask her for any decision i make, i cant even go to the store without her because she thinks i will cheat on her. i cant breath without her permission.yesterday, i bought a new shampoo with a picture of a pretty woman on the bottle. she threw a tantrum and told me to go marry her. i love her deeply. she said she will change. but its been almost 2 years. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Young man let me let you know that you are not alone I have been with the same girl for 8 yrs and she is not as
bad as yours but they have some of the same ways. First
you must learned to be strong when it comes to her and what I mean is put your foot down if you speak to an old
co-worker are classmate it is okay remember we are on earth
were there is more than a billion people and not Mars were
there is no people at all. if she is checking you cell phone get another one for all of your friends to call you on keep it in your tire well of your car turned off when you get home and when you two are together use it when you are at work keep it in your desk in case she shows up stand your ground your are a man and you had friends and girls friends be for her and you have family. Also remember those who are jealous are the ones to watch she may be cheating on you and you not know it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Thanks Smiles, I agree with you. Thinking about my response I was struck by how different I approached this question from you a man, compared to my answer that I give women who are in an identical situation. I will try again, this time with a more open mind and honest advice.
LEAVE THIS WOMAN IMMEDIATELY, SHE IS A CONTROL FREAK, SHE IS TRYING TO DESTROY YOUR SANITY AND SELF CONFIDENCE....
You can't talk to your friends, you can't watch TV, you can't even use shampoo, what the hell is wrong with her, how much sacrifice dose she need to feed her vanity and make herself feel good. LEAVE HER, SHE'S CRAZY. She has no right to keep you locked up like this, your not a prisioner, you've done nothing wrong. Hell even prisioners have more luxuries that you, I bet they get to watch TV and use shampoo and can get time off for good behaviour and finally escape.
This woman is an ABUSER, she's enslaving you for her own sick ends, she's got you so frightened that you can't even think straight or leave. Look at this list, dose it remind you of anybody http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser.html.
She controls you, cuts away your support, keeps you from your loved one's and tells you what to look at, think about and do. She's a sick fuck, nobody deserves to be treated this way, and certainly not you. You say you love her, well that's too bad. This woman dosen't love you, she's unable to love anything and anybody except herself. What does she tell her friends, I've got a boyfriend who stays beside me because I keep him on a chain indoors.
This is not normal, this is not right. Finish this sick damaging relationship and run away as fast as possible and as fast as you can. Ever seen that film "Basic Attraction", your dealing with the same kind of mad woman. Don't tell her where you've gone because she'll come after you and probably try to hurt either herself, you or anybody else you choose to love. You are in danger, leave this woman and do it now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): I am afraid I have bad news for you.
Your girlfriend or fiancee is not jealous she is possessive.
There is a big difference and trust me she will not be able to change her behaviour on her own, she will need profesional help. Unless she agrees to that, I suggest you call of the engagement and move on.
You will have no long term future with this person, she will make your life a living hel, she already does, but get married; it will get worse.
Honestly, even with profesional help, there is no gaurantees that she will change quick or how long it will take, but at least there is a chance, however, without that, forget about a life with her; and why delay the pain and agony?
You are allowing her to emotionally and verbally abuse you! Stop being the martyr and stand up for yourself.
Love alone is not enough in a relationship.
You have to talk to her, tell her how you feel; give her the option or ultimatum; she might perform and will probably refuse; but then you have to move on; doing that will not be easy, she might stalk you and make your life difficult; you will have to make a clean break, no contact nonthing or you will have no rest or peace. I know of situations where with people like this, court interdict were necessary.
Please think about your future!
You have a right to live a normal life; stop being her prisoner!
Good luck, it will be tough, but you have to be strong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): You love this woman, she says she trying to change, but now you can't even buy shampoo. Can you live with this for a lifetime, what is this doing to you confidence and self esteem. She's controlling you, she's taken your life and seeks to make it your own. I would suggest you leave her, as long as you behave yourself there is no reason for her to change. As long as you give in to her wishes she will demand more and more. Set her a deadline to change, if she won't then you must leave, because by staying your giving her permission to treat you even worse.
She needs to get help with her problem, she needs to tackle this and sort it out. It's her problem, not yours, go find your friends and start living your life again, she has no right to try to cage you up like this. If she dosen't like it, then she knows what she can do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): WOW! she is obviously very very insecure, and maybe something happened in her past that caused her to act so dramatically? this extreme behavious probably requires some counselling, or at least to get her to see how crazy shes being. i think yiou need to either make a huge change or leave her, you canot go on like this. good luck xoxo
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