A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im 22 years of age, I will finnish sutdies in events management at the end of this year, and I have strong desires to be very successful in my career. I also have very strong desires to become a mother. Over a year ago now, I had an abortion. I hardly new the father, I felt I was too young, and I, nor he, were in the position to take on such a resposibility.Now I am in a very strong relationship and very much in love. I feel so ready to have a child to love but my partner says he isnt ready. I can't help thinking about having a baby. I want to respect my partners wishes but to have a baby is such a strong desire. I dont know what to do. I feel very selfish and guilty.
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female
reader, 00130945  +, writes (15 July 2008):
I would just wait a few years to have a baby. I know that you really want one and are ready, but having a baby is a huge commitment and your partner needs to be ready too. You are only 22 so you still have a lot of time and I wouldn't be so worried about it. Your partner is probably feeling the same way you felt a year ago when you had the abortion, because you weren't ready for a child. I would just try to be understanding and give him some time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): if he isn't ready and if you really care about him...don't "trap him" i've seen many of my friends do that and the men ends up hating the females. imagine...what if he ends up hating you in a year or two and leave you and the baby? you'll end up hurt and your baby won't have a father! i had an abortion bout 10 months ago and i don't regret it. the guy i was with was crazy and i can't imagine having a baby for the next 5 years. i have a great guy now but i don't want a kid so i made sure of that by goin on the mirena. i know my boyfriend doesn't want one either and i could never do that to him if i wanted a kid. i do eventually want one...but i believe when we want it and is stable...it will work out. you're probably feeling a little guilt...but give it time. kids can wait but once you have one...that's a huge responsibility that you have to take care of for life! and said to say...one that you might have to deal with on your own
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