A
female
age
30-35,
*upression
writes:I have this teacher. I am 17, and he just turned 29.Anyway, the attention I began to receive were, in my opinion, just regular expressions of favoritism but then my friends are telling me otherwise. I will list them in order.He picks me too frequently over the other students for gaining points. I have the most participation points in the class. I have a D in his class, and for an activity, he picked the 4 top students in his class to grade everyone’s papers, and I was one of them. The other three had A’s! He offers to let me use his administrative computer, when students are not allowed to do so. Offers me extra credit all the time, which requires me to stay after class and do some cleaning or something but we usually just talk. All the girls were cold in the class, but he specifically came up to me and asked if I was cold and offered his jacket to me. In class he will sometimes be walking around, and once in awhile, he will sit next to me and we will just talk. It is up to the point where I skip sixth period quite often to be with him. We will be in his classroom because it is his prep period and we will talk the whole time. There is never a moment that we have nothing to say. We will talk about politics, poetry, school activities, books, and etc. Sometimes we talk about our personal life, but not too often. Also, when students arrive late to his class, he will be furious and always call them out. When it is me, and I usually arrive really late where it’s about 5 to 10 minutes into the class. He will not say anything. He still looks like he’s in a good mood. He doesn’t even mark me tardy. Also, when I ask him for make up work after being absent, he will just tell me not to worry about it, and that he won’t count it against me. (He gives the work to everyone else though) Now, it’s come to the point where we’ve discussed my skipping methods. He knows how I get out of class, and he doesn’t disapprove of it. He doesn’t care, in fact he says things like, “Oh, it’s just THAT class anyway.” I come by really often. He never breaks eye contact, never has a pause in our conversation. He tells me to come in whenever I want to. Today I was supposed to come in to take a quiz, but when I got there, he never mentioned the quiz and we just sat down talking the whole time until he was summoned for a meeting. Also, I feel like he’s incredibly comfortable with me. He has this stern voice with other students, but when he talks to me it’s completely casual. and he is incredibly “G-Rated”. He will pretend like he doesn’t know what something means, or as if he’s never done anything bad. Today when we were alone, he said “Shit” in part of his sentence, and then tried to correct himself. Then later just laughed along with me. He stops every time he sees me in the hall to talk to me, and when all the students are waiting outside his door to open up the classroom, he will always say something to me and NEVER to any other student.I am really curious to know. I will admit that I do have feelings for my teacher, but I am smart enough to never say or do anything to pursue it, so please do not tell me that how I feel is wrong, because I already know it is.
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (27 May 2008):
 I have a very similar relationship to one of my teachers, and I think it's a good thing. I mean, like you said, I know that nothing can or will ever happen, so we just enjoy each other's company.
It does sound a bit like he likes you, but he could just think of you as his 'work friend'. Does he have any teacher friends that he's close to? If not, he probably just needs someone there that he can count on and confess to, so I'm not sure if he has romantic feeling toward you. I've heard that usually if a teacher develops feelings for a specific student (meaning that they're not a pervert who thinks all 17 yr olds are hot), it's because they end up becoming dependent on the student's interaction--the potential situation where he might talk to you becomes his purpose for attending school. So maybe he thinks he just likes you as a friend, but really he's developing deeper feelings for you, and he won't realize until he's head over heels for you.
...Just don't do anything inappropriate until after you graduate. Afterward, he's fair game, but until then, just let things be great the way they are now. Good luck and take care!
-Nicole.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Huh, when I read your post, I initially thought,'YAYYY, he likes her!" But after reading the responses, I must admit they are most likely right.
I do have something of my own to add, however. Someone who really cares about you will look out for your best interests.
He shouldn't let you off the hook if he knows it could hurt your education. I'm seventeen too so I'm not going to bother telling you not to skip. If I could get away with it, who knows? ;) Often times whatever class it is will be a pretty big waste of time.
Here are some other theories of mine: Your teacher may be lonely and seek any attention or company he can get from someone who seems mature or even reminds him of someone else that he's fond of. Perhaps you look like a cousin or an ex-girlfriend. Also, can you be sure that he isn't treating some other girl the same why he treats you, or that he hasn't before? We're old enough to know that not everyone becomes a teacher for purely professional reasons. He could seriously be a random perv. Sorry.
I'm answering your post because I'm in a similar situation as you, except my teacher-crush doesn't treat me all that special and we never talk because I'm terrified of saying something stupid. I know we'll never have a relationship, and I know that it's best that you remain firm in your decision not to make a move on your teacher. When you graduate, I say do whatever you want. I certainly would if I thought my teacher was even remotely interested in me.
Yes, there's a risk that he is just trying to mentor you, but your description of his words and actions make him seem more like someone looking for a friend or otherwise.
By the way, if your friends noticed your teacher's attentions it's probably a good thing that the school year's ending. Jealous people will talk and rumors can start quicker than you'd believe.
When you see him again next year I hope things go well. Maybe you'll both be over each other, or maybe it'll turn out that he never had feelings for you (sorry if that sounds mean, you have more of a chance than I do :) ). You may even find a hot guy over the summer and forget about your crush. If you forget your teacher a little but still care about him when you next see him, perhaps there's something deeper there. Wait and see, you may just find that you guys have a shot. Don't forget, though- AFTER graduation, and don't do anything that'll put your relationship under scrutiny.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): I think that you like him and he likes you. Remember, he is 12 years older than you. I would think about this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): wow....you to sound like you have a wonderful relationship and he its not wrong to have these feelings we are all human you know and hey who knows he maybe interested in you as well....
just wait until you leave school....
look at this situation and see if you relate or not....
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-teacher-found-out-i-like-him.html
-Take care
xxxx
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A
female
reader, Sexyteen +, writes (23 May 2008):
 I agree with both of them. Back off a little and try hard. See what happens. See if you show him you can do it if he backs off and if he doesnt then wait untill you graduate. When your over 18 and your not a student at that school anymore I dont see a problem with your relationship. I believe love can be with anyone, any age, sex, religion, race, or anything. You might truely like him. but if u do, you have to wait. There is a chance he sees you like a daughter, in that case you have to be careful. Do you enjoy him as a person, cause if you do be careful not ruin a friendship/relationship by letting your feelings get in the way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): No, there's only one thing your wrong about. Your wrong about feeling your feelings are wrong. You love and care about your teacher, what's wrong with that.
When I was seven I fell in love with a friend of my father's. Even though there was a 30 odd year age difference, I knew it was love. These feelings didn't go away. By the time I got to be a teenager, I still wanted to marry him, still feel the same way even now, but he's long gone. Good thing too, he'd probably needs a nurse now, not a wife.
Emilyanswers is right, though. Even though you love him, you got to be careful cause people will talk. You don't know if he loves you or not. Probably not, it sounds like he likes you, and thinks your his "special student." He likes you, probably like he likes his children. Sounds like he just wants the best for you and wants you to do good at school. Who knows I could be wrong. If you do what Emilyanswers suggests, then everything will be ok. I think your brave to talk about this, and am glad your being very sensible about the whole thing. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, supression +, writes (23 May 2008):
supression is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for responding, Emilysanswers. I do appreciate it.
Yes, it should be ending soon, because the school is about to end. Today will most likely be my last day alone with him, and chances of that aren't high either.
I don't think I'll have his class next year, because he only has one senior class, and I doubt I'll be lucky enough to get in.
It's true that maybe he's trying to motivate me, but then if that were true, why would he ignore the true purpose of my time in there (which was taking the quiz) and just talk to me instead?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 May 2008):
Maybe he is interested in you. It's not unknown and I'm not going to pretend that all teachers are 100% professional and infallible.
However, if you care about him then you'll back off a bit, because it's going to get noticed that you are spending a lot of time in a classroom and in his office alone together and then he could lose his career.
You are a smart girl though as you know not to pursue it. It could be that he sees how smart you are and wants to give you a hand with work because you are so smart but keep getting Ds. it could be that he's trying to get you really interested in school so you leave with decent grades and get a decent job.
Work really hard and get your grades up and he might move onto another kid who needs his help. He might not, but it'll be worth it to get higher grades anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
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