A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:I just started working this week, and everything has been going well except for the fact that I never know where to have lunch. I can't go back home even if its a 15 mins drive because that will be a waste of gas. I can't eat at the cafeteria because there are a lot of people and I just want to eat alone not with coworkers. And I dont want to eat at a restaurant because I have social anxiety. So i've ended up eating but i don't know if that looks strange and its so sunny its almost impossible to find shade. Pleaseee help me out guys.
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female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (2 April 2016):
 I have anxiety too, and I'm someone who tends to like eating alone as well, especially around people I'm not too familiar with. However, since we only have the one breakroom at work, I have to eat there. You can sit in the same room as your coworkers but you don't have to talk to them. Bring a book to read while you eat, browse the internet on your phone, and go for corner or end spots if you can, that way you only have to deal with possibly sitting next to one person. (I can't stand being sandwiched in the middle between people). That's what I do. That way people don't think you're purposely avoiding them. And sometimes someone may have a friendly chat with you and it can actually brighten your day. That's how it is with me. I hate trying to make conversation because I don't want to be a bother. However, if someone starts a conversation with me than I KNOW they don't mind talking and it's a lot easier.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 April 2016):
 I don't think the issue that you need help with is where to eat, but more like what it is you would like to do about your anxiety? Do you want to get help for this? I think you should see your doctor who can put you on to a therapist or even give you some tablets to help with the anxiety issues. I think you need to sort them out so that then you don't need to worry about where to eat, as you have a choice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2016): My husband and I both suffer from social anxiety. It just manifests differently. He's case is similar to yours. He's been avoiding eating with coworkers for almost a decade now.What he does is, he goes to a shop buys his lunch and eats it in his car. We moved closer to his work and he can come home for lunch when I work from home. But other times he just eats in the car or outside in the park.Now, are you seeing someone for social anxiety? IT IS TREATABLE! Especially at your age. My husband started dealing with it when he hit forty.Here's the other side of the coin, if you continue to implement your avoidance strategy - you are only strengthening your negative convictions instead of challenging them.By avoiding social contact (other than for work) my husband has strengthened his idea that most of his coworkers don't like him. Truth be told there are some major a-holes at his office, but if they could prove to be human if given a chance, let alone other average people he got to meet there.He may appear aloof, disinterested and maybe even egotistic. While in reality he is just uncomfortable around people and feels that they are negatively judging him.He's finally found a good cognitive psychologist, reads a lot on the subject and is ready to confront his fears.I won't go into my problems because they are different, but in my case as well not challenging my avoidance behaviors led me to a pretty isolated life.Find a way to feel safe for now by using your avoidance strategies, but use that time to find a good therapist and start reading. There are a lot of people who overcame their anxiety and lead a fuller and richer lives. It can be done.I wish you all the best.
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