A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 and have had one long-term serious relationship, and a few shorter less intense ones. I have slept with 6 different guys, 3 of them boyfriends, 3 of them flings or one-night-stands.I am sort of considered a slut in the small town in which I live, because most of the people here are particularly conservative. Being a small town, everyone knows everyone's business, and a lot of people know that I have slept with quite a few [by their standards] people.Is 6, probably soon to be 7 as I am seeing a new guy now, a lot of people to have slept with? Or is it just because I come from a village of nuns that I feel like a slut.Thanks in advance for your help and opinions. (: Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 I hate the numbers game.. you never can win.. one is too much for some people, in the big city where I live some girls can get through 7 in a couple of months.. for me.. for 20years it was one guy, and now, I still haven't reached your number... so whose to judge...I like concentrating more on why your having sex and if your having fun. If you know what you are doing, like having casual sex, feel respected by the men, and still can respect yourself, then that's the most important thing..Back in the stone age, when I was a young virgin, I made myself a rule... as long as you can look in the mirror and smile the next morning and still feel proud of you, then your doing all right.The 3 flings or one night stands are they what you needed? It's probably best to keep things private if your in a small town where people know your business. Easy to do, just make sure the men are the type of decent guys who know how to keep their mouth shut.With the new guy, if he asks, you can tell him, or not, but always best not to lie. If you know why you had sex with these guys and have no regrets and had fun at the time.. then the number doesn't really matter.. your sex drive is probably higher than mine, or there are people in town doing what you do, but they know how to keep their business private.Don't like the word slut, because there is no decent male equivalent.. promiscuous (reckless sexual behaviour) or very sexually active, those are the terms I prefer to use when discussing no-commitment sexual contact.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (14 December 2011):
 Considering in the old days yes its way too many you should be ashamed tsk tsk tsk. However this is the new age. It is slightly frowned upon if you sleep with many guys (20 and above) gives off an impression. when i grew older the more i slept with the worse i felt about myself was i easy was i a slut. I havent slept with over 10 men and i certainly dont hope to before i die. but that is my view on my life. How do you view it. Is it an issue with you? do you feel its too many for a young age. Are you making the right choices for you. Are you being safe and careful. I think when you hit serious double digits you should be slighty concerned where you life is heading is it the life you want or do you want more. If your happy and safe who cares how many people you slept with. You are who you are and if others dont like it then tell them to stop being so damn nosey. hope that helps aphex xx
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