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I have set high standards but worry those standards might be TOO HIGH!

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was in a relationship for two years. That was the best relationship I had, but I matured a lot during the relationship. The things that i looked for in a relationship when it began, i no longer look for. I need more and i wont settle for less.

However, since then, I feel like i just dont have patience with guys. The minute they do something stupid I just cant deal. So i get witty and crack on them hard. I stop caring about what they think of me and I just do whatever.

Is it my fault that I want someone perfect for me? Is anyone going to fit my standards? Or am i just bitter that I wasted so much time with someone and hoped that they were going to be everything I wanted?

Or is it just the fact that I am just mean?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

18-21yo guys are "children?"

Compared to what, the 18-21yo girls who are so "over them"?

Screwing older men does nothing to make you more mature.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

LOL, your dating 18 to 21 year old guys and you expect them to live up to your standards! They're children... so odds are good, your going to be frustrated.

But it depends on what you're looking for- and where you're looking for it. You might have to look in a new location.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (13 December 2009):

Well, I agree; sometimes us women can become a bit bitter towards men after quite a few stupid ones.

There's a difference though between standards and wanting perfection. Also, if you don't take some time out for yourself you can also become quite cynical. What I mean is, just don't date for a while. Just in my opinion, it seems like my friends that hop from relationship to relationship along with some dating inbetween the relationship and never spend some time just being single and not going out on any dates--seem to be the pickiest. Maybe because they're meeting all these guys that don't fit their criteria so it's becoming more and more discouraging to them? Who knows?

It's okay to be picky and not want to settle; but you also must remember than no one is perfect (including yourself) and it always takes time to get to know a person. I would say that cracking on a guy for saying something "stupid" is probably a bit mean. For all you know, he could be a bit nervous and made a mistake, then laying it on him would basically be humiliating to him. So it's probably best not to do that. Unless it's someething really dumb like, "All women are stupid and should be barefoot and pregnant." Then that's a pretty valid reason to start cracking on him.

Just remember that you're still very young and have plenty of time to find someone who's perfect for you. Don't focus so much on finding Mr. Right for the time being, focus on yourself and have fun--then he'll show up when you least expect it.

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