A
female
age
36-40,
*uthyHart
writes:The last year ive been thinking about dating a women/woman. but im kinda in a boring, confusing, and unfaithful (on his part) relationship right now. im really attracted by the beauty of women. and im sexually attracted too. ive never dated a woman. only just men, but every relateship ive been thru, men have always beaten me down, breaking my leg, abusing me when i was pregnant, and cheating on me with men and women.i have a serious trust issue whenever i am with a man.. and i dont think i can ever forgive any man that im with.i secretly think about dating women/making love ... cuddling everything...so my question is:Is this normal what im feeling? should i get with a woman? or am i just looking for emotional closure that a woman can give me? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Work on yourself first, then date whichever sex you want.
Otherwise, same problems, different gender.
My niece is lesbian, she's a great example of it.
She isn't repeating the pattern of her mother, she is doing the opposite of it and dating abusive women instead of abusive men.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): It's very common for females when their having relationship difficulties with men to consider pursuing a relationship with a women. I know bc I've seen it several times. And being lesbian, its somewhat offensive. As in to say if men act right I wouldn't ordinarily want u romantically. Sweetie you're an adult and only u can call the shots about which gender u should date. Although it could be very rewarding. And yes, I think u are looking for emotional closure. From the outside looking in, lesbians seem to be more stable, contribute more in relationships, pursue love career and happiness, and be totally committed in relationships. But from being on the inside, I can tell u first hand.....it ain't all what it appears to be. The connection will be strong due to emotions but there often times the same problems with straight couples. Most lesbians remains friends with her ex. Many lesbians lie, cheat, steal and cause hurt just like men. Believe me......if u enter into a lesbian relationship thinking this will be peace love and harmony then u will most likely be dumbfounded when u realize females are just as trifling as men, or at least both genders are capable of being selfish. The best advice is to widen up, when u see signs and red flags leave....trust ur intuition don't doubt it. Don't allow ur self to fall prey bc lesbians can be predators too and many will love that innocent outlook u have about lesbians and take full advantage of u. So toughen up emotionally, and be vigilant. Best wishes....
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): You will just attract the same type of women who treat you the way your boyfriends have treated you. The problem is them but YOU also have a huge problem in that you stay in these relationships. This is what is causing your bitterness and helplessness and dating a different sex or switching up relationships won't change a thing.
Healthy people reject unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy people accept unhealthy behaviors. You accept the unhealthy and stick with it, handing over your body and soul, which further erodes your self worth. There is an endless supply of abusive people, men and women, who will exploit your lack of self respect with pleasure.
Until you learn to reject people right off the bat who treat you badly, it won't make a difference what gender they are. Yes, it is them with the bad character but it is ultimately YOU with the issue.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): It's you. You attract those type of men. Maybe if you try to figure out what it is about you that attract those men or go for the complete opposite of what you normally like.
If you want to date women then you can try; it might be different but lesbian love is not all ponies and rainbows. I know some women who abuse their partner just like men....its not the gender it is the person.
Good luck though...seek some therapy and figure yourself out before trying to date someone because you do not need to be involved with someone just to feel happy/complete/loved.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 September 2011):
 I think you're looking to date a woman because you've been betrayed by all the previous men in your life. It's okay to date women, but not because all the men you've had have betrayed you. Date a woman because you have a genuine interest in her, not because you think you won't get hurt by women. But if you just want to try dating women to see how you like it, then there's definitely nothing wrong with it. Everyone has that time in their life when they think about being with the same sex because many of their relationships don't work out, so don't think you're not normal. But don't date women to prevent from getting hurt again.
...............................
|
