A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i have recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her! My boyfriend was the one who told me (as my friends boyfriend is his mate) but he said if i tell my best friend he will finish with me. i don't think he would finish me but i know if i tell my friend it will cause lots of problems and it will all fall back on me and cause major arguments! i don't think that my friends relationship is going to last long anyway but i desperately want to tell her!!I know for sure, that if it was the other way round i would certainly want her to tell me!!Should i tell her or not?? plzzz help!!! x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): Tell the truth. The truth will set everyone free. It is not right to cheat or let someone cheat. Just tell it as it is
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Does he really expect you not to tell your friend? She has a right to know! Finish with him, and tell her about it. She really does deserve to know! Its upto her what she does, but if she has any sense she'll dump him!
xxxxx take care and i hope it works out okay.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (3 July 2007):
Well I would dump the boyfriend for a start. He can’t tell you something like that and then ask you not to tell your friend! He’s expecting you to gossip about her behind her back, and deceive her. And you know what else this means? He doesn’t think cheating matters. Not only that – he also thinks it’s OK to have all your shared friends talking about it behind your back as well. Not so very attractive when you think about it is it? If he was a nice guy, he would have told his mate that he was putting him in an awkward position, and to look for another girl to cheat with. But he didn’t, he’s putting all the pressure on you. If your friend was in a very serious relationship, I would say keep quiet because it might only be a passing fling and you might lose her – awful as this would make you feel. In this case I would tell her, and then you can both start looking for boyfriends who are more worth your while.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I completly agree with stina.If your BF has told you and is threatening you not to tell it shows that he is a jerk and that he does value his friends relationship over yours.Tell your friend as she is your friend and would you like to be in this situation? Doubt it!If your bf dumps you well he was a jerk wasnt he!
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I would want to know too. But does your friend? Your boyfriend is wrong to give you the ultimatum and you may risk loosing him by telling her but what are mates for? Mates are supposed to watch each other's backs while men come and go in to your life? Right?
Why did your boyfriend tell you if he knew that it's your best mate that his mate is cheating on. I think it's unfair and you should do what you feel is right. How is your mate going to feel when it comes out and she finds out you knew?
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hi there,
I think it's wrong for your boyfriend to give you an ultimatum. What does that say about your own relationship? So what he's basically saying is that his friend is more important...since you are being made to be dishonest about that jerk? What was the point in him telling you? To gossip, to see if you would choose your friend over him...?
If I were you, I would tell my friend. I would hate to see one of my friends in that position and wouldn't want to be part of the crew who was being dishonest. I would care more about my friend than my boyfriend throwing a hissy fit. And if he breaks up with you because you would have blown the lid on his friend cheating, then what does that say about him as a person? Would he expect your friend to cover up his lies if he cheats?
Sorry - but I'm from the frame of mind where you're actually supposed to care about your friends. I believe that if they're being played, then you should say something. If your boyfriend doesn't like it, then let him find someone who doesn't mind lying to people she cares about. Awful. (I still can't believe your boyfriend put you in this position!)
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I think sometimes it is best to stay out of it and just leave them to make their own mistakes, like you say you don't think it will last anyway so there is no point in upsetting any relationships.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Um first off your mates boyfriend is being a dick to her and she deserves to know..but the thing is, you boyfriend isnt playing fair, telling you he will finish you if u say anything.. that is blackmail.. would you rather save ur mate from hurt by tellin her or wud u rather make ur bf annoyed and let him show his true clolrs (by finishin u) thats my advice babii, mail me if u wana talk x x x x x x But the thing is, uve said u would certainly not wana no u wer bein cheated on? i cant undestand that, her boyfriend has had his hands all over someone else.. and maybe more..
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