A
male
age
36-40,
*lvira505
writes:hi everyone, i am 23 years old nd really don't know from where to start. I love my wife more than myself i'd give her my sight, i tried my best make all her dreams come true, everything she has dreamt of except one thing, a faithful husband! because i cheated on her with an escort! On july the 14th I cheated for the first time and i didnt even have good sex, i had to leave the first few mins but after what! after i had sex... and now i am put on anti-depressive medications by my doctor for the first time of my life because i cant stop beating myself down about the fact i cheated on my innocent gorgeous wife, I get breakdowns in the middle of the road while I'm driving, I cry and cry, I sweat and have nightmares about it, the fire is eating me inside out and doc said I'd kill myself this way or i would have a mental disease and now i cant even maintain being myself any more.I have lost my self esteem by losing respect for myself because i never pictured I'd go down that way in our marriage even though no one but God knows about what happened, but I am lost for committing such a major deceiving mistake in my marriage because of how low i went... please help? thank you everyone
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): You HAVE TO tell your wife. If she leaves you, then it is deserved punishment. Maybe it will teach you not to make the same mistake again with another woman. On the other hand, if you want to live in a lie for the rest of your life, then do not to tell her. However, understand that what you will have with her will not be Real Love, if you decide to not tell her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): you made a terrible terrible mistake and the key is that you learn from it and NEVER repeat it. It is good that you feel guily and that is your punishment and the burden you have the bear.
I think you dhould keep this information too yourself, do not burden your wife with this information. Get on with appreciating her and loving her and dont let it happen again
Tomorrow is a new day, start again, go out and make the most of this marriage. You ar elucky to have someone you find so wonderful If you need help see a therapist and talk it through with them but i really believe that your wife doesnt need to know.
And get an std check up, to give your wife a disease would be the worst thing
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): That's your problem....not your wife. You cheated, so you will have to deal with the consequences. She just might leave you....that is, if she can't deal with the fact that you cheated.
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A
female
reader, mselu08  +, writes (13 September 2010):
You have to tell your wife. She deserves to know the truth and you will not be at peace with yourself until you tell her. You're a dirt bag but at least you feel guilty about it. Maybe she will forgive you, maybe she won't. But that should be up to her.
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A
female
reader, rosycheeks  +, writes (13 September 2010):
I really think you should speak with your wife about what happened. She deserves to know the truth. And if you are really genuinely regretting it, she may forgive you. If you continue to keep it a secret, it will continue to eat you up inside, and she will notice your different behaviour anyway, it has affected the relationship, and by the sound of it, it's not like you can even put it behind you.
If she forgives you, then you can begin to work on fixing it.
Just be honest as soon as possible I'd say, she wll find out eventually...
Good Luck..
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A
female
reader, rosycheeks +, writes (13 September 2010):
I really think you should speak with your wife about what happened. She deserves to know the truth. And if you are really genuinely regretting it, she may forgive you. If you continue to keep it a secret, it will continue to eat you up inside, and she will notice your different behaviour anyway, it has affected the relationship, and by the sound of it, it's not like you can even put it behind you.
If she forgives you, then you can begin to work on fixing it.
Just be honest as soon as possible I'd say, she wll find out eventually...
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (13 September 2010):
If you are beating yourself this badly over it, you might want to confess to your wife. Holding guilt in and keeping it to yourself can drive you crazy, like it seems to be doing. Just telling someone else, especially the person whose forgiveness you really need, should help. Other than that, you could see a therapist and talk to them about it, and they can help you work through it.
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