A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling really down at the moment.my ex boyf and i broke up 3 months ago.we'd been together a year.we finished because he had feelings for another girl.since then though we have been in touch every day. I wish I hadn't continued to talk to him as it's stopped me getting over him but there we go. he tells me he loves me and would like to try again one day, but that he couldnt decide between me and this other girl. he asked me not to go with any other men. we've slept together a few times. yesterday i saw him with this girl and it made me really angry. i text him saying that he'd be sorry. hinting that i'd tell this girl we'd been sleeping together.he rang me up saying he regrets ever meeting me and that he can't forgive me for threatening to tell her.i have no intentions of getting back with him anymore,even if he wanted to but I don't want him to hate me.it would be nice to stay civilised, but how can this happen now?? help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Stop talking to him. Its the only thing that helps. He's not serious about you, and you're honestly not serious about him. If you were you'd NOT have sex with him while in this state where you're not really together. You'd be in a relationship with him instead. But you are not. You aren't sure, and neither is he. End the contact, it'll only keep hurting you and won't make you get over your EX. Thats what he is. He's your EX.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Well, your ex really sees himself as a stud muffin and he see his women as just that, his. The nerve to ask you not to go with any other men, he doesn't want the thought of some other guy being on top of you, but yet it is cool for him to treat you that way.
I agree with Caring Guy, never allow a guy whether he is an ex or not treat you in this way. You are not a doormat, you are not a dog waiting at door to be fed....
Tell him to get lost and don't let the door hit him in the ass when he leaves.
Your self worth and self esteem is a bit in the toilet over what, a guy who can't make up his mind? Even though this hurts that he likes another girl, this doesn't mean that you aren't good enough for him, in fact it means he isn't good enough for you. He is immature and can't make a commitment to any one. You deserve better than this. If after a years time he can't see the fantastic special woman that you are, then he simply isn't worth any more of your time or your emotions.
He doesn't hate you, he is pissed off that you think he is a jerk and you are going to tell his other girl about the two of you. What a pig! It doesn't matter what he feels, all that matters is that you stop having any contact with this moron so that you can heal and move on.
The way you do that is to take your focus entirely off of him and put it squarely on you. It will be a challenge for you at first, but in time you will feel much better and will be glad to be rid of the emotional burden and fear that comes with an on again off again relationship where you are having sex with a cheater.
Learn to value yourself more than you value a jerk like him and you will be well on your way to a better love life.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 December 2009):
It can't. But in fairness, why would you want to remain friend with a guy who was so blatantly using you? How dare he go around with another girl while you were supposed to sit at home twiddling your thumbs. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated this way. You are well rid of him.
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