A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:2 years ago, at a party, I met this girl. We totally hit it off, and found out that we were both (randomly) moving to the same city (2000 miles away) for the summer. She was graduating college and moving back to where she grew up to be around her little brothers, and I was just going somewhere new for the summer. We drove out, and that's when we really got involved. I fell in love with her on that drive. We got an apartment with two other mutual friends for the summer, and life was good. Then I left to go back to my old school, long story short, I was there a month or so and then I left and moved back in with her. I transferred schools and we were really good. This girl is amazing. She's my everything and I truly do love her. She started school again, and I was finishing up my degree, so for this past year we haven't been the most interesting people. We both go go school and have a lot of work, and we did develop a monotonous, somewhat boring, routine. Neither of us were particularly happy, but life wasn't bad. Then I went on a spring break trip for a class. I spent the trip missing her and realizing that maybe I was taking things for granted and that I really wanted to see her and be with her again. I wanted to try to make things interesting again.When I got home, she told me that she needed space. When I was away, she realized that she never had time to herself and she was stuck in a monotonous rut and she didn't know who she was anymore. She said "I feel like I woke up from a great dream into a life that's not mine. I give too much, and in the process of building a life together, my creative voice left, my thirst for adventure left, my motivation to do great and big things, my faith that the world gives us what we need, all of it was replaced by routine. And I don’t even want to cook anymore because it’s not a gift, it’s a chore. I’m gone from my own work. My passions have been quieted." (that's taken from a note she wrote because she couldn't figure out how to say everything she wanted to in a conversation). Now she's moving out. She doesn't even want to try to make it work. She just wants to leave and see what the world has for her. She says she loves me and she's sorry she hurt me, but she has to.I'm devastated. There's nothing I can say. If she doesn't want to work at it, then what can I do? I really love this girl. It just seems so sudden. I got back from my trip 12 days ago. Less than two weeks, and our relationship of 2 years is just completely over. The problem isn't that we don't talk - we actually have really good communication. I don't know. Any advice? I clearly can't make her stay, but I have no idea how to even begin to get through this.
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 I am sorry that this is happening to you. I don't think there is anything you can do or say that will make her stay at the moment. If she is around the same age as you sometimes the desire to travel or broaden your horizons becomes just too great and you want to go. Often after a period of time and getting all these things out of her system then the person will come back. I know you are upset and crying inside but the best thing you can do here is be supportive of her decisions and ease her path for her. Don't beg her to stay or any of those things. Tell her it is a good idea for her and that you will always be there for her. There is a good chance that she will come back once she has got this out of her system.
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female
reader, niki20 +, writes (10 April 2009):
 i know its cliche, but if you love something let it go if it comes back for sure thats how you know its for keeps. i know its hard to get over a broken heart, but the only thing to make it stop hurting is time. try writting your pain down bc then you could just burn it like scorching the pain away
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