A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys.Im not sure where to start so ill give some background and the problems.When I was younger (8-10) I missed a couple of years of school as I had to take care of my little sister. This was due to my mum having a drink problem. This meant that I never picked up the skills to socially interact with my peers.Now im at a stage where I can talk and people never guess that im awkward, but the catch is they need to speak to me first. To make matters worse im studying IT and I absolutely hate the isolation of this career path. I took it when I was younger through school, college and now uni because I was left alone and I was good at it.I have problems making friends and im a friendly, kind and funny guy. I have no idea how to approach, converse, get numbers then progress into friendship. This also means that I dont have any experience with women and I would trade every year to come for just one year of hapiness. I wouldnt know if a woman was interested in me unless she said so to my face. I wouldnt know how to escalate things, how dating works and when you know you are bf/gf. I have on a couple of drunken occasions had the opertunity to sleep with a woman, but losing my Virginity for the sake of it doesnt really appeal to me. I want a connection and intimacy not a drunken mistake.My family always ask me if I have a gf and it kills me inside to have to say no and laugh it off.So how do you go about:1. Knowing if a woman is interested.2. How do you approach them (inc things to talk about)3. How do you get their number, arrange going out4. Where do you go out5. How do you know if she is still interested6. How do u escalateBasically everything that is involved from the moment you see someone.Sorry if this is long but I wanted to be as descriptive as possible.Thank you very much for taking the time to read.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for those who have provided advice so far.
I've been reading online as kellyxxx has suggested and I have learned some things.
A problem i've found that puts me off is that I dont consider myself very interesting. I study IT at uni, work with children, watch TV (love Sci-Fi) and play computer games. I do like to go out but as you can see on my original question it is rare. And I know that these are not ideal things. Any thoughts ?
Im also stuck as how to open a conversation. The body language will take a while to pickup on but now I know what sort of things I should look for. How do you open a conversation with someone you find attractive ?
Even more importantly how do you ask for their number ?
A
male
reader, MyDestiny  +, writes (15 February 2009):
 just go out there man
be confident!!( women like confidence in a guy) just go out there, relax and be yourself, go to more public places and events and meet more people...conversate be natural be you..and you'll make new friends and even find a girl you're really interested in...
and you made the right decision not to sleep with those drunken girls, loosing your virginity should me more satisfying and classyier than that (i would never sleep with a drunken girl!!!)
so props to you bro!!
you know if a girl is enterested if you see that they are comfortable around you and they let their gaurd down, and are really interested in what you're saying...
also when they're all flirty and touchy feely-that's a good sign
if you want to approach her..than approach in a casual way, tlk about something enteresting,...maybe tell her a joke you know she'll laugh at to get her hooked in the convo...(dont use one of those cheesy pick up lines, they hate those, believe me!!!)
so gudd luck, you'll have a new girl in your arms in no time, just play your cards right
dont worry, youll find the right one
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A
female
reader, lilsis86 +, writes (15 February 2009):
This is a huge entry! There are people who never missed a day of school who have these same questions.
1,2,3. Knowing if a woman is interested: women are weird. Period. The only way to know is ask. There's really no such thing as signals...because men don't get them anyway. If you're interested, make eye contact, smile, and go talk to her. Always compliment!! Tell her she's pretty, looks nice, something. But don't over do it. Be polite and respectful. Introduce yourself, ask for her name, tell her she looks nice and you'd like to take her out sometime or get to know her. You can not be afraid of rejection!! Sometimes hanging out with friends makes it easier, because you find a circuit of friends and meet their friends (who may be females).
4. Never go to the movies on a first date...or to their home. Movies means you don't have to speak and homes can be uncomfortable. Go out to eat, bowling, museum, etc. Somewhere where you can be entertained but still intimate.
5. Still interested? Conversation. Don't be afraid to ask a question. Have your standards or the way you feel known, and ask her how she feels. Women like to talk about their emotions usually anyway. Don't blow up her phone. If she doesn't respond, leave a message and wait. If she doesn't call back, let it go...too many women out there to worry about just one.
6. Things will progress on their own. Intimacy allows things to grow. Talk to her and most importantly, listen. Listening can be more powerful than speaking. When you listen, you understand, you know the right questions to ask, and how to respond. Take it slow..one day at a time. Be respectful of her space and body.
Most of all..be confident in yourself. Know what you want, set standards, and wait for the right person to come to you. We think we have to go out on the prowl for mates, but the right one will come to you. Just relax and be you.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (15 February 2009):
 you will know if a woman is interested from the way she speaks to you and the type of body language she uses. go into google and type in something like 'flirty body language' this will tell you everything!
approaching someone is hard maybe approach a friend before you approach her so you can get to know what she is interested in.
when u have been speaking for a couple of days then invite her out, ask if she'd like to go and see a film, or go for a drink.
go out and see a film because u wont have to do alot of speaking and if u watch the film then u will have something to talk about afterwards! before the date begins ask her what type of music she likes (this would be good if u have saw her with an ipod)
if she's interested after this date then she will text or call u. you escalate this by going on a few more dates...if she's the one then things will start to flow and happen naturally.
when giving out ur number- do it after a few hours of meeting, or maybe the next time you see her, you can do it straight away if the two of you have met randomly!!
if you need any more help then msg me. xx
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