A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am married to a really nice guy. All in all our relationship is ok but I guess we have our ups and downs like everyone else.Recently I started working with a guy who I find myself being very attracted to so many levels; physical, mental and emotional. I find myself looking forward to seeing him and speaking to him and being around him. I find myself thinking about him alot when I am not working and experience feelings of sadness, folorn, etc.Now dont get me wrong; I have NO desire to cheat or be unfaithful in anyway and believe me that wont happen nor would it ever come to that...that is NOT something I am about or would EVER do. But I just do not know how to deal with these emotions as it can be somewhat hurtful and frustrating. I just want them to stop or learn how to control them so I do not have these emotions like some soppy teenager. Of course I work with this guy, so I see him all the time, so I cant avoid him.Any help how to effectively somehow "get rid" of these sad/hurtful emotions so I can just carry on with my life and work etc?Thanks
View related questions:
I work with, no desire Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for your reply.
He has a girlfriend for a few months but he always complains about her as she is always calling at work, stressing him etc and he keeps saying he is going to end it but who knows it is none of my business.
He is very friendly with me and we have a great relationship platonically, socially and work related. He has never behaved improperly with me or flirted. But he did say to my friend he thought I was really stunning and does pay me compliments but I wont say in a sleazy way etc...just compliments like a guy / friend would pay you I guess!
I have only known him for a couple months but we are like really good friends I guess as we spend so much time together with work etc and have gotton to know each other well and get along really well.
I have been married for 6yrs. My husband is ok with my job.
Thanks x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I need some more information here if that is okay with you?
Is the guy at work married?
How does he behave towards you? Flirty? Professional?
How long do you know each other and have you been working together?
How long have you been married?
How does your husband feel when you work at these function in the evening?
How do you rate your marriage?
I really want to try and help you but need to form a better picture to be able to offer some advise.
I am sure you did not just suddenly start liking this guy.
You can send the info to my mailbox should you wish.
Be strong.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes you are right I got married at 18 so quite young and didnt really have boyfriends before.
And like I said no I will not ever cheat it is not what I am about. But I just need to figure out how to overcome these feelings when I am around him.
And for those who are saying to avoid spending too much time with him; the thing is I cant. I work in events management with him - so we are together also at night time at events functions etc which of course is a social situation and of course we sort of end up "socialising" together for work purposes. Sometimes we go to events and we mainly know each other so spend alot of the night together just chatting etc till the end of the night! So it is difficult to just not see him or spend little time.
Any more tips or advice on how to overcome this is much appreciated, I cant really discuss this with my husband as he can get a lil jealous at times and I wont want to do that then put in a position where he wants me to quit my job or something because of it as I do enjoy what I do. Thanks
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Be strong and do not alwo yourself to dwell on thoughts or to develop feelings for this guy; concentrate on your husband; think about things you can do with him or at home; shift yur mind away from this guy the minute yu even want to start thinking about him;
This might sound crazy; but maybe in a nonchalant matter, mention to your husband, about this guy, that is very nice and vow, if you were not so very much in love with him and so totally happy and committed; if you were still single, you might have considered dating him; then the fun and excitement around this guy will be gone.
Limit time at work to him to just the basic as far as work and nothing on a more personal level.
Be strong; resist the temptation, it is not worth it!
Best wishes!
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Hi,
If you married quite young ( and by the look of your age group you have ) you may subconciously be thinking you missed out something as you committed yourself to one man at a very young age. So this new guy has added some zest into your life and you are finding it hard to be a good committed wife. I think this is in a way natural. But I'm only guessing here, it could be a number of factors.
You obviously love your husband so you need to spend less time with your new workmate. You don't have to be rude just professional in your dealings with him.
Otherwise you may find yourself in a situation ( work function, drinks etc) where the urge may just overcome you .
We are bound to meet people in our life who would be ideal partners for us, people who we have a lot in common with and also who we feel an instant sexual chemistry with. You just have to learn to approach things professionally, if you cant control the feelings for this man you may have to find another job.
good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (21 June 2008):
 you have to see these feelings as a crush, try to spend as little time with this guy as you can, without being rude of course
...............................
|
