A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm just wondering if there is anyone else out there like me.My "biological clock" never went off until now. I'm really too old to have children but it breaks my heart every time one of my (younger) friends does. I think just hearing that someone else out there has these same feelings might help me. It wasn't that I didn't want them, it's just that I had other problems that got in the way. I'm healing now, but that doesn't make up for the fact that it's too late. I wish that I was in this place emotionally ten years ago. Sometimes I feel like Rip Van Winkle.Thanks for reading. Please post a response if you can relate. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): Random thoughts -
Yeay, lovely answers. And yes, poster, I can so relate. I'm 42 and have done wrong career/wrong relationship for babies all my life. And am still doing so in fact. My sister's just had a kid, who is lovely. When I hear him gurgling down the phone though, I get a terrible pang and occasionally feel very sad about the lack of kid factor in my own life.
Makes me wonder why my life is still not ready for children - it's far too chaotic! Is that some kind of choice I'm not aware of?
Anyway. You don't say what end of the age range you are. If fifty, then totally agree about adoption/fostering. At least it will make us both really think about whether we just want children intellectally or whether this is our hormones kicking up. Apparently the urge for a child doesn't go away even if you've had some!
Mothering urge is v strong in most people, i think. even if they do not have children as such. Suggest if any possiblility of having children still (and 45 is not too stupid either, I've heard) then you find a sexy nice bloke and take it from there! Alternatively one of my friends went down the sperm donor route and now has a lovely daughter..
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 My colleague is 44 and is pregnant with twins! Dont doubt you cant get pregnant, if you cant try it naturally try it with IVF (a woman in her 60's had a child a few years so anything is possible).
If you cant get pregnant try adoption or fostering they wont be your own kids but you can look after them and nuture them as if they are your own, dont give up hope its never to late.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): Well, I can't relate as I don't have children, but I don't think you should give up hopes of EVER becoming a mother. First of all, how old are you? My mom was 42 when she had me and I was completely healthy, and she says I have kept her young. If you're older than that, don't let it stop you from having children completely. In high school I knew some family friends who, in the 50's, ended up adopting a Russian brother and sister who were 13 and 14. They didn't speak a word of English and had never left their Russian orphanage but were extremely grateful to their new parents. They are now going to university in the U.S. and still come home every vacation to their adoptive mom and dad. Many people are looking to adopt babies or infants, but really there are many teenage kids out there - especially in other countries - who have never had the chance to be adopted and are looked over because they're older. Seriously, look into it. You still have the opportunity to have a parenting role, and if all else fails, look in foster parenting. Nothing should stop you from fulfilling this role, even if you've felt the need later in life.
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