A
male
age
,
*cubadu
writes:About 15 months ago I met a women on eHarmony and in short fell in love and moved from California to Colorado Springs, in the process I was very happy I had left where I came from to start my new wonderful life. I know we jumped into the relationship very fast. The long distance dating was killing both of us. However after 15 months of being here and the discomfort of what I have done (The Sacrifice) I feel very out of place here and very, very alone. My future has changed in many ways, some good, some not so good. I have found myself even feeling alone now when I'm with her, along with feeling like I want to leave, but not knowing where I want to go or want to go do. We have gone to a marriage counsler and she recommended making friends, activities and such for me. I have done these things, and I still feel alone. I really want this feeling to go away. I have laid alot of my needs on her in the beginging, but I still feel alone and compelled to leave, which I did a couple of times in the past for a few days each time, but came back as I couldn't be without her. Is this normal? Why do I feel this ? Affection comes and goes with her. Myself I feel I need affection all the time. I've never felt like this needy person before. What do I do?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Sometimes there is back-lash when people make too many changes too quickly. You met someone, and then you re-located, which I'm assuming meant, getting a new job too. That's alot to deal with, plus you're still discovering this person, and finding out who she is, what her faults are, maybe even weighing those faults against the sacrifice you made to be with her. I do think you need to make new friends, find hobbies you enjoy, or take up things you did back home. Develop some routines that feel comfy. And keep the communication open between the two of you. Tell her what you need from this relationship and from her. If you need more affection, tell her so. If you need to just talk about what's on your mind and know that she'll listen and understand, that will help put your mind at ease. And last, just give your brain time to catch up to what's happened suddenly, and you'll be fine with it. You're letting your fears choke out the thing that you've wanted since you met this woman. Live in the moment. Take one day at a time and keep yourself intact as you grow as a couple. Good luck.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Maybe it's more about the relocation than it is the person you're with. Leaving what you know can be difficult.
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