A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiancé for almost 2 years and have been sort of watching him. I have him under my phone plan so I monitor his calls and texts. He friended an ex on FB and that didn't sit too well with me so we had a fight. He refused to delete her, I got over it but became more suspicious. A few weeks later he called her after we had another argument. He said he felt ignored by me so he called her. I was so upset I gave him the ring back. He keeps texting me saying she means nothing that the call was innocent. He says he's not hiding anything cause he knows I'm watching him. I can't trust him. I have mixed feelings and don't know what to do. Do I give him another chance? I don't want to wonder where he is all the time. Why would he do this to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2015): Yes, it is possible that monitoring calls may be a bit much. I can only think that there may have trust issues before the "ex." I must say that my firm belief is that any man who truly loves a women puts that woman first and foremost. Friending women that don't fit the picture on social media including ex's is inappropriate and probably something that shouldn't even be entering his mind. I have more experience with a man like this than I care to admit. In my case and without a doubt he has an addiction to women. I truly hope this is not the case with you but if trust continues to be an issue, please beware. It's not worth it. The best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 March 2015):
 Why would he do it to you?
Why would you MONITOR his activity on his phone? You are NOT his mother, nor should you HAVE to monitor his behavior. IT DOESN'T make him become a better or trustworthy man.
IT IS NOT your job to monitor him. IF you feel like you can not trust him, then WHY be with him?
As for this whole ex issue. I think he is doing it to push your buttons. And I think it is disrespectful. BUT I find the whole monitoring equally disrespectful and really intrusive.
I think a relationship like yours is messed up. You don't trust him, he doesn't care what you may think or feel.
If he felt IGNORED by you, he should have brought THAT issue up with you, not call the ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): You controlling him like monitoring him means that when you tell him to delete his ex off his Facebook. .. he can say NO to spite you and your controlling behaviour. He is not your property!!
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