A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've had mild feelings for people of the same sex over years, but maybe i'm taking it too seriously... a simple 'man crush' I think I'm having at the minute. How do I contrast a crush with full on feelings and is a crush harmful for our friendship or for my feelings/sexuality in the long-term?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): hi female anon here again.
If its just a man crush it will fade away with time, these feelings may pass.
keeping busy, seeing freinds, focusing on other things, hobbies,school or work all help, keeping yr mind busy and not on him all hlp - trust me on that one, not thinking of him is better.
if u think it might be
real feelings for him/guys then yes u may be gay or bi, thats OK, take a deep breath! Its OK.
so hes going out with a girl, u like him in some way so yes of course u are going to be a bit jealous! its normal,
i was so jealous when my freind started dating a guy! but i did get over it, i remembered she is straight and a good freind, i didnt want to lose that f/ship, but yes it hurt for a while.
maybe keep a bit of distance between you for now if its hard to see him? see other freinds? focus your energy into other things, work, school..sport... family and freinds whatever..
hope this nelps
Soudns like its more than a man crush
A
male
reader, RdCs +, writes (7 December 2009):
Things are getting out of hand. I've just found out that this guy is going out with a girl, but i've been hit with a wave of anger and jealousy!
I'm really beginning to think this is more of a 'man crush', if it is, how do I deal with it? If it isn't, how do I calm myself down?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): This isn't getting any easier. I've just found out he's going out with a girl, but i've been struck with a wave of anger, bitterness and jealousy!
I'm really afraid this is going to turn into something I don't want it to turn into. Any hints on how I can calm myself down or is this no longer a 'man crush'?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): this is just a mere crush not 'love' coz if it was then u may be gay.i had a crush on my best friend though we were the same sex but it soon went away.
sure am glad it was just a meaningless crush or i will hate myself
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): We all have crushes on ppl, most of the time they go away, nothing ever develops. i have had a recent a crush on a good freind and she is straight, im not and she knows im not, shes ok with this and never found out I liked her. I know i can never be anything more than a freind and im ok with it,as i value her f/ship more than anything, and would never truin it by doing anything stupid,but it has been hard at times,
if the crush on yr friend is interferring with your frienship,like if u cant think clearly around him cos u are always thinking how you like him and are attracted to him, or if you are usually nervous around him and cant act like you used to then yes this may be real feelings and yes there is a chance the f/ship may be affected, esp if he may notice. Nothing wrong with having crushes on ppl,but.. if they dont go away, maybe you arent 100% straight, be you...! gay, bi or straigh, it OK.
Lots of ppl your age and older, have crushes on ppl of their own sex, doesnt make them automatically gay, we all admire others.
hope this helps somehow :)
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (7 December 2009):
Very few people are either completely gay or completely straight. Most people are a range of varying degrees between the two. Google the "Kinsey scale" to see what I mean. You will need to think through it because whatever you decide will have consequences; good or bad. Enjoy
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