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I have had enough! Do you think I should stay?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have had enough! do you think i should stay?

I met my current boyfriend through friends in my first year of Uni. We became good friends and started dating after 2 years later. We have now been together 3 years.

The main problems are:

1. He lies to me, he says its because he doesnt want to hurt me by telling me the truth. I have told him it hurts more when I find out hes being lying to me! Some examples, i asked him if he had met his ex girlfriend at christmas (she lives close to his parents house) he said no but a few weeks later i find photos of him and her on his laptop. The photos were taken at a theme park close to his house and he has his arm around her. I know they were taken at christmas, because he had said he had gone to this theme park. When i confronted him he said that he had gone out with her, but it was with lots of other people too. Another example, he tells me hes given up smoking (because i hate it) but after a year i find out he's just been smoking behind my back! I'm not bothered that he smokes but the fact that he made such a big deal about how hard it was to give up - really annoyed me!

2. He always asks me for money when he knows i cant afford it. He says the money is important i.e for rent etc. but he always seems to have enough money to go to the pub!

3. He never helps me with the chores. When i ask him to help he'll sulk! Or say he'll do it later and then "forget"

4. I have to drive him around everywhere because he is to lazy to change his driving licence, (he needs to apply for a uk licence as his from abroad).

5. He never comes home when he says he will, like tonight. He went to the pub and said he'll be home at the latest 9:30 its now 11 and no sign of him.

Basically i feel really taken for granted, when i talk to him about it. He says he'll change but he never does :(

what should i do?

View related questions: christmas, ex girlfriend, his ex, money, smokes

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

No, you should not stay. Do you really want to stay in a relationship with a dishonest and untrustworthy man? You won't be able to stay sane if you stay with him for the rest of your life. You're better off cutting ties with him as soon as possible. It may not be as soon as you want, since it seems you two live together and all, but definitely as soon as you're in a place to leave, do so, and let him know you will.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

Sounds a lot like the relationship i was in. All I can say is I stayed too long. It will not get any better just worse. My boyfriend started coming home later and later soon it was that he would disappear for days at a time. A few times i even caught him at his ex's house in the middle of the night. Get out now before it's too late.

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