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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Before I go into details, the only intention I have is to make this go away. I don't want to hurt anyone. I love my husband dearly, and I want to keep my vow.I have had a crush on my husband's younger brother since the first time I met this man. At that time, my husband and I weren't married yet. I just thought that the brother was pretty cute, funny, and attractive, but it wasn't a big thing as I thought he's just a younger version of my husband (my boyfriend at that time).Many months later, I met him again in a very weird circumstance; it was also the first time I met their parents. I really appreciated how he tried to lighten the atmosphere, making sure that everyone was comfortable. He's more capable in making things happen promptly than my husband and has carried family businesses while he's about my age. Some of his traits are also similar to my husband. These qualities have gained my admiration...and an attraction that I shouldn't have. Since then, I tried not to have anything to do with him to keep my distance even though it's so tempting to get to know him.We haven't kept in touch since we aren't close. In the way, it has helped to cease down my feeling. I have refrained myself from looking him up online. Even when he visited a town close by, I made sure that I had an excuse not to meet him.Recently, my husband and I visited one of his parents. With all members gathering, I had to share a bedroom with my husband and his brother; there are two beds, and it's the bedroom they shared when they were young. His brother was very friendly and teased me from time to time. The recent teasing style, however, was dirtier and more flirtatious. I guess that it's because now that I'm his sister-in-law. It was to the point where my husband had to tell him that he'd get that back and/or he's watching. I also found myself sitting between him and my husband almost every time when the family went out to do something.There were couple times when he asked my to help him fix his shirt before a formal family gathering. In one occasion, I jokingly complained that he should get a girlfriend or find a wife. His answer threw me out of the ground a little. He said he couldn't find someone like me so far. All women he has dated talk too much. I told him that I don't talk because his brother is very quiet. He said he's quiet too and only talks when he has to socialize. I kept telling myself that he's just complimenting me as all family members really like me.Before I left, he kind of waited for me to be out from the shower just to say goodbye and ask me to give him a hug. As for me, the hug was pretty gentle. When I thought about it now, it was a really close hug; my chest really pressed against his, which isn't how I normally hug my guy friend. My inappropriate side might think too much. Now that we are in laws, he probably was just being nice.Anyhow, we didn't spend time alone together. We actually avoided doing that (at least I did make it quite obvious) even though there were many opportunities. I'm not sure if he knows or is suspicious about it. However, I don't want to get myself in trouble and cause people around me trouble. Since I got back, I have been in agony. My husband and I haven't been married for that long. Our relationship since dating has been up and down, but we got through many hardship together. In part of my mind, my husband's brother seemed to be a better version of my husband in general. Every time when the thought of me being with my husband's brother instead crosses my mind, I'm sick of myself.In the meantime, I'm sure that my feeling would settle as I won't meet the brother for a while. Yet I'm very afraid of my heart. I want this crush to be gone, forever. Please help.
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crush, flirt, get a girlfriend, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): Yay, it's just a crush. It will pass. Don't be angry at yourself for it, you are only human.
All you can do is let time pass it for you, believe me, it will end eventually. And it is a total hot fantasy, grass is greener type thing, and taboo sort of stuff. It feels real now but just know, it will go away.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): You think he sounds like a better version of your husband but you have not seen the bad side of him,you have not lived with him and got to know things that would annoy you. Just keep devoted to your husband and forget about liking his brother, cause you chose to marry your husband.
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