A
female
age
30-35,
*ifteen
writes:hey im 15. okay so i love this guy and he says he loves me too. we started talking alot and became reallyclose about 9 months ago. we were like best friends. i had stronger feelings for him but i decided not to tell him because he had a girlfriend. but then he said he had feelings for me while he was still dating his girlfriend. i told him i liked him too, and he suggested we become secret friends with benefits. i said no because i didnt want him to cheat on his girlfriend. i never did anything physical with him while he was dating her but i would flirt with him. and after a while i fell for him. i didnt tell him until he told me he loved me. i was so happy. okay well eventually they broke up because it wasnt working out...by this time it was yhe begining of january. so we fontinued to flirt and whatnot.. then at the end of january he starts dating another girl! i was so upset because he didnt even tell me, i heard it from someone else. we stopped talking for 2 weeks. then i couldnt take it anymore so i told him i missed him and we went back toflirting and whatever. i feel guilty about this but i let him cheat on his new girlfriend with me. this went on for a while until they broke up. the next day they were dating again... and he told me as soon as he was single we woild be together.. he said he knew this was messed up but he truly loves me. i told him i could wait and they broke up last month. then he said he didnt know what to do because he wants too be with me because hr loves me but he doesnt want a girlfriend right niw. i said okay and thats how we've been since. we continue to flirt and hangout and kiss and makeout.. but 5 days ago we kind of stopped talking and it seeems like hes mad at me and ignoring me and idont know what to do. helppppp please any advice is appreciated
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best friend, broke up, flirt, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): well you know what you did was wrong. how are you going to rectify the situation. no use claiming guilt feelings, without making changes in your life. watch out, this guy will do the same with you. and you know this.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (11 July 2009):
 He's no good. If he loved you, he would be with you. There would be none of this playing around behind people's backs. As soon as he broke up with his girlfriend he would have been at your doorstep asking you out. Instead he cheats on his girlfriends with you and strings you along...that tells you right there that he thinks of you as a side girlfriend but not good enough to be his main girl. I'm sorry but it's true.
You can always tell how a guy feels about you by his actions. He's saying he loves you but he doesn't treat you like he does. Guys don't ask girls that they love and respect to be their secret friend with benefits. They ask girls like that to be their girlfriend.
He doesn't respect you at all, he is only using you for sex. Respect yourself and put an end to this mess by standing up for yourself and refusing to be treated like a dirty secret. You are worth a full, open and honest relationship with a guy who is proud to have you by his side.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, sjpb15  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 okay i know this isnt super advice, but if he truly loved you he wouldnt be doing this, if he honestly loved you like he says he would of been with you after his first girlfriend that he "Cheated" on. im 15 myself so i kinda know what you mean. and plus would you really want to be with a guy who can kind off cheat on other people? i mean what if you two went out and he did that behind your back? i know you love him and stuff right? but sometimes you've gotta realise he isnt worth the trouble. if he can do that to other girls imagain what he could do to you? and honestly if he truley loved you he'd be with you by now. he would of been with you at the beginning when he broke up with that girl. x
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