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I have given him an ultimatum to get married, but I don't want to lose him! What should I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2010)
A female India age 36-40, *aima khan writes:

im in a relationship with a guy for one year.he says he like me and can also marry me but doesnt love me and not give commitment now.we both are 27.my parents are worried because i should get married now.i gave him 3 more months to tell me whether he will marry me.im facing really tough time as he went to saudi for his job 1 month before.what to do plzzz help as i love him very much and dont want to loose him?plz help..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010):

oh, and also: have you given an ultimatum, you HAVE TO follow through. there's no backing down now, if you do you are giving him the message that it's ok to ignore whatever you say. you have to follow it through.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010):

if he doesn't want to propose on his own but has to get an ultimatum to do it he doesn't love you. and you don't want to live with a man that didn't love you enough to propose on his own. you deserve better!

and if you find yourself in a relationship where you have to give an ultimatum, it's not a good relationship. in a good relationship you discuss things and come to an agrement together.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010):

You heard the saying"Why buy the cow if the milk is free".I'm guessing he's been getting the milk for free.Now you are telling him it's time to buy the cow or else.

Must be feeling pretty crappy right about now.I hope you have really good milk.

good one lazy guy i didn't realize she actually gave him three more months. could only imagine how he is planning his escape

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (31 May 2010):

LazyGuy agony auntReminds me of a joke on bash.org:

Xizer Winzip is such a girl...

Xizer "Uh hey. 30 days are up could you stop using me? No? Well I'll just ask again tomorrow..."

Look up ultimatum.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (31 May 2010):

Honest Answer agony auntOnce you give an ultimatum, you need to stick through the consequenses good or bad. Failure to follow through will be an open invitation to walk all over your heart.

If he is not ready to commit, you need to be willing to walk away.

Good Luck!

Jeff

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010):

i have news for you. Marriage is not the carefully designed net that will keep your prey from escaping.The insecurity your feeling will not go away with a marriage license and or a ring.Nor will it keep him faithful.He would marry you when he feels that he doesn't want to lose you. keep busy find other things to think about and let him miss you.

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