A
female
age
30-35,
*estephe3
writes:Recently, my "liking" feelings have been growing for one of my teachers. At the beginning of the school year, I didn't really take that much interest in him, but now (and I don't know why) I am, and he seems to be acting a little different, too. For example, when I recently walked up to him to ask a question, he stood very close, (as if he were going to kiss me), had a kind of seductive look/body language to him, and seemed a little nervous while talking to me. Not only did his voice sound shaky, but he also got a little flushed in the cheeks, which in turn, made me a little, too. Also, throughout class everyday, I've been noticing him glancing away if he catches me looking at him and since I sit on an end seat in my class, he likes to walk by me a lot. I know he's married and has kids, but there's just been something recently about him I can't shake off. I know it sounds silly, but I think he might like me, too? What do you think? Thanks for any feedback/advice.
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female
reader, cupid val +, writes (28 October 2010):
 well you can go to the bathroom alot,and you can also kinda like hide behind people so you are not in his view.you could also give him the cold shoulder,and if anything more goes on,then,well,you have to go and tell someone.like tell a bestfriend and they could probably help you.idunno.i wish you lots of luck.
A
female
reader, sestephe3 +, writes (26 October 2010):
sestephe3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you to all who responded to my question.
Just wanted to update some info. as of what happened today in class:
We were working on a project with one other person at our desks & throughout the whole class period, I felt like he was listening in on our conversations/looking at us more than a few times; it was actually getting quite uncomfortable & I started to get flushed in the face because of it. If this happens again (which I bet it will) how can I prevent myself from getting so embarrassed about him looking/observing me?
Thank you all very much.
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A
female
reader, cupid val +, writes (24 October 2010):
ummmm.idunno.like hes your teacher,and he has a wife and kds,think of it.if you guys started a relation ship,and it went on,you would eventually want someone to know cus it would suck to have a secret relation ship.also,if he went to jail,his kids would hate you,his wife would hate you,and his kids and wife woould hate him.eventually the teacher would hate you.so tink about it.not really such a good idea.plus if other students found out they might think you weird,o you might get the reputation as a slut at school.please.dont do it.theres also probably some dude at your school that likes you but your to focused on the techer to notice.so,go out,and act like you have never thought of him of anything more than your teacher.and eventually you guys will forget about eachother.im not no profesional and i never had a boyfriend and havnt really lked anyone in a long time,so i dont understand,but i do understand what i said,so go out and get a boyfriend your age or whatever and a guy that would not be having an affair.
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A
female
reader, foreverlove  +, writes (23 October 2010):
He could like you it's up to you how you take it though. You could spend time with him then fall for him and have the heart break that you will never be able to go out with him, or you fall for him when you know he likes you keep getting closer and when you leave school give him your number.
But either way if you are under his care he could be put in prison for it and that would upset you even more!
Trust me I know what your going through and yes it's hard. Mine is not a crush though I like him and he likes me and we are both willing to wait till I'm 18 and out of his care. Anyway if you just want to talk feel free to message me anytime :D stay strong
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): Of course he likes you. You are an attractive person blooming from teenager to woman. One of the joys of teaching the last few years of school is watching all the ugly ducklings shake out their new feathers.
It's quite possible he is thinking of stepping over the line from interested watcher to participant. You don't want that. Teachers are cool. A married man having an affair with a young girl for whom he is responsible, in an environment where there are no secrets. Not cool. He'll move from one category to the other pretty quickly. You'll find yourself feeling trapped, with no one to talk with (because you can't talk to anyone because of the huge penalties to him of you doing so) and dealing with a lot of grown-up issues by yourself. It really is a terrible thing and you'd be well best to avoid it.
So play it cool.
One way is with a technique named "calling the behaviour". Describe what he is doing, and then what he should be doing. Because of the power difference between him and you, use a joking tone. For example "you are this close (put your hand out) my personal space is this close (push him out further)". Don't make any implications as to motive or intent, don't make apologies, just lets the facts speak for themselves. People can't dispute self-evident facts, and if they try, others will not be convinced
Another way is with "Roger's reflective listening". The template is "when you do ... I feel...". So "when you stare at me, I feel singled out and that embarasses me in front of my friends". Look the technique up on Google for more examples. Again, you don't need to impute motive to his action, you talk about his behaviour and your feelings and nothing else.
[You don't want to know what I think of your teacher. He is a grown man experienced in the ways of love. He knows what he is doing with distance, eye contact and the rest. It's a deliberate plan to induce confusion in you, as confused people are more malleable. Even if he doesn't follow through, it's still a horrible thing to be doing to a inexperienced teenager. The best teachers teach using the example of our lives -- our students want to grow up to become the bits of us they admire -- and his example just makes me mad.]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): He might like you,
but..you don't have to take my advice if you dont want to.
Back off.
I know how your feeling, I recently have my heart broken by a teach Im sure i fell in love with. im still hurting. Even if he likes you, he wouldnt make a move on you. He has a wife and kids.
He will mostly think about them before making a move, and then his job.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): Well, whether he likes you or not, it is unimportant. e would probably lose not only his wife and children, but also his job if he started a relationship with you. I don't think your parents would be impressed either. Start concentrating on one of your classmates, rather than the teacher.
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