A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure what to do with these feelings that I have for my friend... he is going out with someone else, so I understand already that I should let go but it is very hard because my feelings were already intense before I found out.I have tried distancing myself from him, I even deleted his number from my hone at one point for a while but this only brought me pain because I had found that when I distanced myself from him, he became closer to me(pay more attention to me) like approach me more, tease me(play fighting and things), regard my presence, and look at me from afar sometimes(not because I'm looking at him either).To prevent myself from being blinded by his actions, I always tell myself that that is just how he is as a person and it doesn't mean that he's started to feel anything for me. I constantly try to just deny that what I feel, and I try to distract myself by keeping busy and hanging around friends more but when I'm all alone, I start thinking about him again and I just feel so distraught because I know how futile all of this is and I just feel stuck.It's like I know, in the future I will not feel like this and I'll get over it and find someone else but I find it very difficult to get into that mindset completely because what I feel is so intense. It's as if I'm trapped in my present situation.When I distance myself from him, when he is walking by and I see him I ignore him but it makes me very happy when he comes my way. I smile.My friends tell me to find someone else....and I've tried that but I soon stopped because it felt like a dangerous thing for me to do because I am only using that person to get over someone and not because I really like them which is not okay So to sum it all up, I am basically trying really hard to get over this person and,so far, nothing has worked. It hurts not being in his presence, and it's not even because i see him as this perfect individual, I'm well aware of his flawsat one point it was just about his looks but his looks mean nothing to me anymore, and his flaws do not mean much to me either, it is his personality and that is what I miss being around but I am afraid that the only way to get over him is to just stay as far away as possible...He is a beautiful person, I don't want to lose him as a friend.How do I cope with the process of moving on? Am I going about this the wrong way?
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 You shouldnt make a move on him as that could ruin what you already have. I think you need to change your mindset, and keep your options open, without forcing it with someone else.
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