A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. The spark has gone. There is someone else at work that has caught my eye. I have a house together with my boyfriend. I am scared that I suddenly have feelings for someone else but love my boyfirend. He is loving and I trust him and I know he will look after me forever. I am scared of these feeling and need to know if it is normal to sometimes have doubts and go through spells where I am confused??Any advice welcomed.thanks
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male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (12 February 2007):
its good youve given it thought and not just dived in like so many others.your looking else where because you see is the chase, a game that will entertain because its taboo. you said it yourself that the sparks gone. the biggest reason for this is routine and lack of communication.. turn off the tele, talk, go out more often and add spice to sex.. do something new, somewhere out of the bedroom
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (12 February 2007):
I agree with the previous answers, but think it important to add that you should be very careful, because if you DID break up with your boyfriend to follow up on the new feelings, what if it's a disaster & there you've gone and lost such a
trusting, good relationship? think carefully about what may be missing with your boyfriend & if it would be possible to reignite the spark? Maybe you have cricumvented the thought of marriage & that next logical step could catapult your lives ahead into a whole new world....
Best of luck in what you decide, & yes you are normal!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Everybody gets feelings for people we shouldn't do, and if the spark has gone from your relationship you will probably more likely to be attracted to others, what you have with your bf is clearly very strong and if you love him you should hold on to this however you are still young and it would be much better to either break up with him and be direct with your feelings rather than to start an affair which would obviously result in him getting more hurt when he found out. You obviously care about him but if the spark's gone maybe you aren't made for each other as lovers, maybe you could be friends gd luck xx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (12 February 2007):
 I think you have said it yourself, the spark has gone and you have started to look for that elsewhere. I think you need to accept these new feelings but realise that they are a product of something being missing from your current relationship.
Having accepted that the next step is to fathom what is missing from your current relationship and fathom out how to get that back. What do you mean about the spark being gone, do you mean romantically or sexually??
I wouldn't torture yourself for having these feelings. I think it is perfectly normal to go looking for something that you feel is missing. These feelings are bound to confuse you and again I think that is natural. Hope that helps. Good luck and take care.
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