A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have strong feelings for a married female co-worker. She has no idea how I feel, and I don't think she knows how I feel. I just don't know how to deal with this. The feelings are so strong that I can't concentrate. She's always on my mind, the way she looks, her perfume, and her bright, sunny personality. She just lights up everything around her. I know I need to go find a single girl and that I should just forget about her, but I can't and its tearing me up inside. It's like I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away. Please, any advice at all on how to deal with this would be most appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): I know how you feel. I was happily married, when I saw him for the first time. That was 8 years ago. I got to know him as my boss, then as a friend. He's on my mind night and day. I prayed that he would never get a divorce from his wife, because if he did, it would ruin my marriage. We haven't worked together for several years, but communicate almost daily; however, I have never fully confessed my "feelings" for him. For the past five years our communication has been nothing flirtatious or anything my husband would be angry about until recently. D. announced that he was getting a divorce and I confessed that my marriage wasn't so perfect either (my husband wanted a divorce, but changed his mind). Since then, our relationship has changed--it began to take on an element of secrecy. He wanted to meet and talk. We met several times and just spoke--nothing more, but this week, he asked me to dance and things went from there. Now I am so confused. I know I love him, because I feel it, but I'm ashamed because I'm married and I should love my husband like that, not this man. I feel a terrible sense of urgency-- to decide--to come clean as I don't want my husband to waste his life on me--a once faithful wife, who has now turned into a cheat. I have a beautiful life that I am about to turn upside down and a beautiful 8 year old daughter, who my actions will affect. I am now dealing with a secret that would devastate my husband. I am so sad, because my husband is a good person, yet I think this other man is the love of my life. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Well if you can't control your feeling then you'd best go find another job. She's off limits.
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