A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for a guy that I work with!!On our works Christmas party we kissed, before this we had a laugh and banter together. Since the kiss, we have spoken everyday since. Just general chat, the odd compliment, generally just getting to know one another. It wasn't awkward at work, which I thought it would be, which was good! This was 3 months ago now and like I said we've been speaking everyday since. We met a couple of times and I really like him. I didn't realise how much I liked him until this week, when he decided to end whatever this was.He has been completely different with me. Before he used to compliment me all the time, I'd wake up to messages saying 'morning beautiful' he would always help me with anything and said he will always be there for me, he was so nice.Now he's saying he wants to end it because of the age gap (10 years: I'm 20, he's 30) and because he doesn't feel good enough. It's made me so angry, sad, annoyed and hurt. I feel like I've been taken for a mug. I know it is stupid of me to do this with a work colleague (although we work in seperate departments, I still see him on a daily basis) I don't know what to do because I have feelings for him now that I can't throw away just like that!!Any help or advice please??
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 February 2016):
 Did you show him any signs of liking him? It sounds like he did try with you, did you flirt back? It could be a case that he felt his feelings were not getting returned so he gave up.
It could also be a case that he has met someone else so this is why he has put a stop to the flirting.
It has been three months since you kissed and it doesn't seem like things have progressed much so maybe he saw it as innocent flirting?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2016): First – the way to act at work is, without exception, professional. You do not have to pretend or try to be nice – always act in a professional manner.Second – you are angry and hurt – how do you get rid of that? First take a piece of paper and make a very specific list of the things that he did to make you angry and hurt. Second – you are mad and perhaps feel guilty or ashamed at yourself that this happened; make a very specific list of the things you did to make you feel this way. Take your time and make sure these lists are complete. The next step is to absolutely forgive him and yourself for these things, without any reservations. You may think I’m nuts – how can you forgive him? But I will say to you that if you do not forgive, the anger and hurt will linger and that is not good for you – the upshot is that if you do not forgive, you are only hurting yourself. Forgive does not mean that you will forget you had this hurt, but it will mean that you will learn from it and be able to freely give your heart to someone else in the future. I know everything feels raw and very urgent now, but just give yourself all the time you need to decide for yourself what is the right thing to do.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (18 February 2016):
 When people get to know each other it doesn't always work out that they are a good fit. In your case it sounds like you have both been looking sensibly at each other. No china has been broken.
He has respectfully decided that it isn't quite right for him. Your dignity and honour are intact.
So hold your head up and pretend it doesn't matter. You will have to do a bit of play acting. Be kind and friendly when you see him at work. Be true to who you are.
Who knows what is around the corner? You know the saying - one door closes and another opens. Exciting to see what comes next eh?
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