A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hullo out therei just need some advice or an ear on this, i have met this wonderful priest who is like my friend, counsellor and my pillar of strenght. he has helped me so much when i had lost my job he supported me and gave me a reason to go on and he prayed with me and i got a better job and now i'm working and i'm happy. everytime when i see him i just want to throw my arms around him and hug him, i imagine myself waking up in the morning next to him and its driving me crazie. he's got this habit of giving me a hug and i feel such a strong connection between us, i've tried ignoring it but it's too strong i'm now even so scared to attend his masses because i think he might know how i feel about him and when i'm there our eyes would meet and i would shy away i'm now sensing that he might know something. a part of me wants him to know and bring it on the table,discuss it and find a way forward but then i think about the church though he is not living in a mission he's got his own house and people that he is helping to come back to life. sometimes i think he feels the same too but then i think who am i kidding he's a priest a man of God he's not to be married. i have been so ashamed of myself because deep down i know i'm a sinner for even thinking about it and then i think God will never tempt me into something like this if there was never a way of getting out of it, somehow i wil find a way out that i believe for sure. we have exchanged phone numbers and we calling each other now and then just to find out hw one another is doing and everytime he phones me he just want to know when am i coming back to see him and he's missing me, it confuses me and i also cant wait to see him. pse i need some advice here i have even imagined our future together married and with 3 children it's my dream and its driving me insane. What do i do plse help!!
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (1 April 2011):
Oh dear.. I can't see how if when you walk out of the confession box with more sins than you had before you went in as being such a good thing.
Some people find themselves attracted to people who are helping them. Whether it be a priest, teacher, therapist. You're confusing the difference between someone in a position of power over you with a potential partner with whom you are equal with and can have a healthy relationship.
You seem very lost and confused to me, I'm guessing you've probably had some difficult times in your life. Otherwise you wouldn't be in this mess right now.
Perhaps, for everyones sake, you need to leave this man alone, and look at working on whatever issues you have that stop you from finding a true boyfriend in a relationship that has the potential to go somewhere?
This man is a priest so he is off bounds to you.. there will never be a future with him, his future is with his god and his faith.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Hi,
There can be two situations here.
ONE. It often happens that a person who saves you from trouble and helps you out with things becomes an object of fancy to you. And this is a very common case. it happens all the time. In this case, you shouldn't take your feelings too seriously.
Maybe you're just building on something which does not exist and so you need to rationalize and think about your feelings. Do you really like him for who he is, OR you like him because he prayed for you, helped you with your problems. Its after he helped you with your problems, that you actually saw a something in him that made you feel good and secure. So in this case, I'd pass it off as an infatuation.
TWO. Another situation is, where you actually like him and maybe, just maybe, he is reciprocating the feelings but being confined to norms, he can't display his feelings too openly. Here you need to concentrate on is mannerisms and see his behavior towards you with an unbiased eye. If you really think that he likes you, then maybe for the better, you should bring it up with him. Talk about it. But be sure.
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