A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a guy in his late 20's and I have fallen for my best friends wife. The thing is that my friend has done some things that I could never fogive him for. He has raped her while she was asleep and he lost his job because of porn addiction. He hasn't put his family first and I have been the one there to pick up the pieces for her and the kids. Everytime something goes wrong I am the one she goes to and I am there to the rescue. Over time I have fallen in love with her. I give her things he doesn't besides a paycheck and I care so much for the kids like they were my own. I know it is wrong to fall for her but she has just made me feel more of a man than I ever have been and she is my best friend too.I am tired of her getting hurt by him and I know I could do a better job for her than him. What do I do?
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best friend, friend's wife, lost his job, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): The one thing a man loves, is feeling like he is a HERO or a KNIGHT. Men want to feel like they are amazing by loving a woman and treating her good. In some ways it sounds so self motivated but it is in a mans nature to think and process this way. Luckily woman want to be treated like Goddesses. ;)
Are you able to provide financially for this family? Are you able to get them counselling to help them heal from the abuse and trauma?
I think, getting her into counselling is the first step. Really that is the BEST thing you can do for her and her young family.
She needs to see she deserves to be strong, happy, healthy and when she is, she can stand up for herself and leave her abusive d*ck husband.
Asking her if she wants to leave is another quick question to ask. If you could move away and not be fearful for your life and your family- would you do it? She'd need help.
She may not even know its an option right now.
Definitly stay in the trusted friend zone while all of this goes down.
She'll need time to heal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): I know u wont like me telling u this: butt out! Its their marriage and u have NO place in it. U want to rescue her BUT it is not your place. Be a good friend and stay away from them All.Thre is a concept called an "emotional whore" its where the wife bitches to another man about her hb, seeking emotional comfort in the arms of another man. This is what has happened here.There is always 3 sides to every story. Dont get suckered in. In fact u are already. U do not need this toxic lifestyle and u need to know your place.If she is being "abused" tell her to report him. U are not her saviour and her comforter and her soon to be bed partner. Stop before your life becomes dysfunctional as well.I know u dont like my choice of words but getting messed up in your friends marriage and with his wife is a receipe for disaster.LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 What he done to his wife is unacceptable completely and she should do the right thing and get rid of him if he is going to do something like that to her. But at the end of the day it is her choice to stay with him I guess and there is not a lot really you can do about this situation. Having an affair with her really is not an option because to many people will get hurt.
I think the best thing for you to do is to try and distance yourself from them and let them work out there own problems. Because the more you hang around them the more you are going to get hurt. I understand you care for her and want to be with her, but I think you need to accept that she already has a husband and a family with him and unless she finishes her marriage there is not a lot you can do about this but take a step back.
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