I have been finding someone else's thongs in my guy's clothing. we physically fight over this, what should I do about this?

A female age 41-50, *hambird writes:

Hi, can anyone giv me abit of friendly advice B4 i loose the plot completely, Me n my chap hav bin togetha 10yrs and up untill 3yrs ago i thought i was the luckiest girl about. my chap was everythin to me and my 14yr old son until on my b'day wen we got the keys to our 1st home and within a few hours it was all falling apart. I dont no wat was niggling me that day but i had to put my mind at rest one way or another and plus my chap had been actin strange for a while so naturally i thought the worst, So as i started makin shure the pockets of sum of my chaps coats were empty for the next load of washin i culdnt undastand why they all had purposely ripped holes in all of the pockets i was abit more thorough than normal, so as i felt through the linning i came across a different type of fabric that wasnt part of the coat as i pulled on it not 1 pair but 3 pairs of thongs fell out i think i just sat there thinkin 'What The'!! well he didnt have chance to get through the front door i went for him we ended up fighting in front of all my family and trashed our new pad for months i tried every approach u can think of to try and understand it was makin me bad why cant he talk to me were ment to be soul mates. well as the rows got fewer i put it out my mind and tryd to start afresh but he culdnt even do that cuz ova the past 3yrs iv cum acrosss at least 25 pairs that he nows nothin about! theyve all been hidden, iv even vacumed apair out of the speakers in his games room! all confrontations by me are greeted by violence from him cuz he nows il bak down if hes aggressive hes nearly drowned me in the bath but his/our dog attacked me last month after id had my head smacked up the wall by my chap, i was rushed to hosp to hav stitches on my rib cage n a broken finger to boot so i was set on by him and our pet, Great! just for wantin abit of honesty cuz he acts like iv imagined it wen i no i havent, much to my disapointment, and now iv recently found out 1 of my m8s G.F has bin playin on it and planting her undawear places nowin full well my chap will cum across them, its made me mad that i dont really no who this bloke is and iv always gone out my way to be adventus in the B.R and after having a miscarrige loosing a special person to lung cancer within 6wks of diagnosis and another memba of my family to hav bowl cancer and to hav waited for my chap while he was in prison the same time every year 4 3 yrs on the trot i think i deserve a break im so fed up of the lies and my son is stressed with it witch he culd do without hes been through enough having a heart condition 4 the 1st 8yrs of his life until he was strong enough to be opperated on im not looking for sympathy just need sum genuin advice of sum desent human beings, im a good person, i hav no probs in the opposite sex trying to pull me so wat is wrong with this man is he so selfish he wont admit his wrong doings and cum clean wen the evidence is yet again staring him in the face, any suggestions welcome.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009):

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