A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been pretending orgasm and climax for all of my marriage. I have tried to bring myself to orgasm but when the feeling builds up inside me like something I just dont have the words to describe I find I cannot bring it to a conclusion I have to stop because I find the sensation unbearable What is wrong with me? Please dont tell me I'm too old
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female
reader, angelgal077  +, writes (3 March 2010):
I just wanted to thank you for posting this question and let you know your not alone. I have the exact same problem with my husband. I always thought that it was just me and that there was something wrong with me. So again, thank you.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 In simplest statement, what you mean is this, that you do not feel sex as great as you considered. Actually, the term orgasm and or climax are subjective, and its consideration is also subjective, but the way of having sex and making love is objective, and really universal. In male, orgasm is associated with ejaculation, however both are not same, but both exists side by side. In female, orgasm is difficult. It is female philosopher, Simon D Beauvoir who describe female's sex pleasure as water flow in river. In male it is like explosion.
The best way to make sex pleasurable is to let it lead by some ideas, like 'eroticism'. Which is the surest way to have greatest pleasure. I advise you to get some information on the subject, and guide your sex life accordingly.
However, I am giving you some handy definition of 'eroticism' Dictionary's definition is not specific, but too much general. Here read my definition: Eroticism is ideas, that hold 'erection' as principle event, that serve as standard of sexual activity, and not ejaculation. Erection is interpreted as 'life' and 'ejaculation as 'Death'. Yes, this terms of life and death are symbolic but give us good ideas about what can be good and better.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 Oh dear, oh dear..sigh
No of course your not to old. Oh dear... just sad about the amount of pain you've suffered over this, it really isn't fair.
Now, not all women orgasm... I say this warning first, because I don't want you to become disappointed if you can't.
What your describing, is an inability to let go. You know how to give yourself an orgasm, but you are scared to let go and loose control.
What do you think will happen if you go with these "unbearable" sensations, do you think they will get worse, do you think you'll be hurt or punished. Maybe you think that the "unbearable" feeling isn't that nice and it's actually causing you pain?
It would be wonderful if you could update your post, the more information we have, the easier it will be to help you.
What is sex with your husband like, do you get any enjoyment from foreplay or penetration? Have you felt sexual desire for him, is he a good lover or is he selfish and never thinks of your feelings. Are you religious, were you taught that sex and masturbation were wrong? Do you think that loosing control is undignified, are you always controlling yourself like this is other areas of your life?
Since you already know how to give yourself pleasure and you already feel the beginning of an orgasm coming on, then there is nothing wrong with your technique. An orgasm, is like climbing a big mountain... you are currently at the top of the mountain and frightened to come down. Watch some of the Canadian Winter Olympics, look at them scatters as they fly down the mountain across the snow.. dosen't it look fun and exhilarating?
I'm gonna recommend you read, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers.. she also has a website for tips ad techniques... www.susanjeffers.com
I also want you to do something risky which you find unbearable and a little unpleasant. Leave your knickers off for a whole day as you go about your business. Try to be totally honest instead of sparing peoples feelings and being polite. Go to a sex shop and make sure you buy one item to bring home. Go up to a strange man and tell him that you can't help thinking about having oral sex but your sorry, your married and now you must rush home.. lol..
I don't know what you find risky, but I want you to think of something and try it out.. This is to force you to faee the unbearable, be comfortable with it, and know you will survive.
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