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male
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*ohn36
writes: Hi all!A few weeks ago I was feeling really depressed about breaking up with my girlfriend. For some stupid reason I became convinced that I was in love with my best friend. I sent her an email about how much I loved her and how I couldn't bear to keep it a secret anymore. The thing is, I did have feelings for her when we first met but they went away and we became good friends. I had been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years and I think the idea of being single again depressed me so much that I just totally lost perspective on everything. I'm not interested in my friend like that at all. I've tried sending her a few emails and text messages to try and explain myself but she hasn't responded to any of them. I'm really desperate to make things right with her, she was such a great friend and I'd never forgive myself if I lost her AND my girlfriend at the same time!
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (12 August 2006):
 Hey,
well at least you know why you did it and tried to explain yourself! It's probably a huge shock to your friend, getting an e-mail from her friend saying they are in love with her, and then another saying they're not so just give her time. When she's ready to talk about it she will. Until you find someone else, enjoy being single!
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): Leave her alone. You now know that you needed time to heal, recover from the break up with your gf. You did what so many people do. You basically turned to this 'friend' for the wrong reasons, dear. She was your 'healing balm' ..in effect you wanter her to soothe your own hurt and pain, after the breakup with your long term gf. You need time to do some work on yourself.. Do some thinking about the consequences of what happens when you play with the heartfelt emotions/feelings of an individual who likely cared for you. Simply put..learn about taking responsibility and don't do it again...to anyone. As for this friend, don't inflict any further pain on her. If you have written her an e-mail and apologized, then leave it at that. Obviously, your friend is hurt or she would be responding. She may forgive you someday...but for now, respect her and allow her the breathing room to work this through.
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