A
male
age
51-59,
*he Gnome
writes:I have been living with my finacee for 8 months. We enjoy sex 3 or more times a week. I always ensure she has an orgasm before there is any penetration as I tend not to last too long.I have become increasingly concerned about her night time habits.Last night we were in bed and she just gave me a light touch "down stairs" and said that is all I am getting as she is tired. She procceded to roll over with her back to me as she usually does.Within a couple of minutes I could feel the bed moving, see her feet twitching, hear the wet sounds and listened to her breathing quicken. I looked over and saw the tell tale redening of her face. I placed my hand in her hip and found she had her hand inside her pyjamas.This is not the first time I have been sure she is masturbating behind my back.We have discussed masturbation openly in the past as I work away for 6 weeks at a time and we both talked about both of us masturbating during that time.She is the love of my life and I would gladly give my life to save hers if the worst happened.Why would she lie that she doesn't masturbate when I am home? Why would she be so blazen about doing it so close to me and denying it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): Man your lucky. I think that is pretty sexy. My wife and I were watching porn when she went at it a few years ago. I was so turned on I still fantasize about it to this day! I didn't even ask her about what happened because I didn't want to cause embarrassment her. She probably would have denied it anyway I don't care either way. Just the same old sex thing all the time can get old. Let her use her imagination.
A
male
reader, Faraday  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 "celiaaletta", she IS doing it behind his back! LOL.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): I am a female who used to do this while married to my husband. I enjoyed sex with him but I often faked orgasm because I didn't want to hurt his feelings when he couldn't get me off properly. He often rushed things; even when I told him exactly how I liked it he often had his own ideas so I often resorted to getting myself off. Also, there were times when I just wanted to use my imagination only and not have sex with him, like how you do when you jack off alone in the bathroom with the image of someone else in your mind. This may be the same for her. Maybe during one of her lonely 6 week periods, she saw some porn and she will be getting off on it. I have many many female friends and some are closer than a sister and yet none of us have ever admitted to masturbating or being turned on by porn. 99% of women consider this aspect of their lives private and for them only. So you may just have to give her her space on this issue. One thing though, women who get satisfied with masturbation and self-stimulation will rarely look outside their marriage for sex. So if she can satisfy herself then at least while you are away she is safely at home tucked away with her hand down her panties! See the bright side!
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A
female
reader, msday  +, writes (16 February 2010):
Well 1st problem is ur away from her for long periods of time. That would be a problem for me if my husband was gone and I was deprived amongst other things like just missing him. Also, she's been doing it while ur away which may give her more pleasure even though y'all talk about it.. This happens and I recommend getting a job closer and fulfilling her needs as they should be naturally and on a regular basis.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 February 2010):
 It would seem she better enjoys doing herself sometimes. Perhaps some of the female responders can help, but I wonder, do you provide her oral pleasures?
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A
male
reader, The Gnome +, writes (16 February 2010):
The Gnome is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI often help her manually. It is just the fact that she denies it. If she said she wanted to get herself off I would have no problem. It is the hidding of it that makes me wonder what is going on.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 February 2010):
I'll admit that it is interesting that she would do that knowing full well that you are awake and right next to her. Why don't you simply talk about it? The masturbation is reasonably normal, but even if she feels too tired to engage in intercourse or other more strenuous interpersonal activities, you could at least provide the manual stimulation if you're good at it. Have you considered that maybe you're not?
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