I have become his booty call. Is it possible that he feels as vulnerable as I do?

A female age 51-59, *y new life writes:

I am new again to the dating world (recently divorced). I met a man 4 months ago at a bar late at night. He was clearly into me. We did not exchange #s. A few weeks later I met up with his friend at the same bar. Got his # and began texting him occassionally. We finally met again (late at night) and he again seemed very into me. He said he'd like to take me on a date soon. 2 weeks later, he came with friends to a party to see me (again very late). His friends abandoned him and another guy and they both asked if they could sleep on my couch. I took this as a "player" move but allowed them to stay. He could see that I was uncomfortable about it ( I actually said that I wouldn't sleep with him) and he behaved like a total gentleman. I began to feel badly about how I reacted to him. He hadn't called so I texted him the following week. We planned to meet the next weekend. At this point I was now the chaser. He had plans for a family bday party early and wanted to meet after. I went out with friends and waited for his call. He started calling (late again). I ended going to his place very late. Because he had been such a gentleman I was naive and thought nothing would happen...I was wrong. I have since become his booty call. I do think he is a "good" guy and would not have normally gone there with me or anyone. Actually I think he was a surprised as I was that it happened. However, since then he still continues to want to meet after 10 pm and really hasn't taken it to a "dating" level. He definately acts like he likes me and I don't think he's seeing anyone else. He has asked me to get together every weekend for the past few months. I'm not sure if he thinks that all I want is the sex. Is it possible that he feels as vulnerable as I do? I have made it very clear that I want to date. And he has said in response "I want to date you" yet the actual date doesn't happen. This past week I told him that we need to spend more time 1 on 1 and he agreed. I don't want to corner him or give ultimatums. I want to be "cool" about it, but honest. I'm planning to tell him that I need more if we are going to continue this. Please any advise is appreciated...especially from guys. I just cannot understand how your minds work.

View related questions: booty call, divorce, text

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A female reader, my new life  +, writes (13 May 2009):

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