A
male
age
36-40,
*aranz
writes:Hey all,I'm in a situation where i don't know have much experience in. My ex g/f and I are on good terms, and we occasionally meet up and still have great sex! Although she has only had experience with a different guy before she dated me. She is outgoing and socially active but never slept with anyone else after we broke up. I want her to have more experience, so i asked if she is interested in having sex with my guy friend, and she has agreed to it and i have spoken to him already and he's agreed onto our terms and conditions.The only problem is now, me and my guy friend are sharing an apartment together, so now my ex wants to come over and stay over at my place for a week, and she said she wants to have sex with my friend over one of the nights.I am not sure if it will help her this way, allowing her to have casual sex, and should I stay in the apartment when she goes to my friend's room? Should i leave and go somewhere and come back when it's all done? Another problem, please readers who have experience in this field, how do you start the night off? Should we all have few drinks together and just let my ex tease him? So everyone is comfortable? I am not too sure. Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I'm kinda thinkin that you proposed this to her in the hopes that she would reject the idea. Then you would've felt that even though your broken up she's still "all about you." But she didn't reject it & now you're trying to control the situation by setting "rules & conditions." And by asking these questions it sounds like your trying to convince yourself that your ok with this. There's no way you can be comfortable with this. What I think you should do is just tell your ex & your friend that you've changed your mind & the situation just makes you feel uncomfortable. They would understand
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 I'm finding this just as strange as Brooke and Susan are. She's your ex? So what she does with anybody I think is no longer your responsibility or concern...
And the "allowing her" language frankly is very concerning to me.
Let her live her own life, and get on with yours. She probably won't be helped much by your "guidance" as much as you seem to think..,
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 My God. What a weird situation. Ok let me get this straight, you want your ex to have sex with your friend but just the two of them? Not a threesome? Why do you want that so much? Its not your responsibility to make sure your ex girlfriend is sexually experienced. In fact her sex life is none of your business anymore so i'm a bit creeped out by it.
"i have spoken to him already and he's agreed onto our terms and conditions."
YOUR terms and conditions? What are you, her pimp? If your ex wants to have sex with him and he wants to have sex with her then fair enough but i'm sure they could manage it without your coaching and guidance.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (25 April 2008):
 Sex is something for people who love each other. I'm not going to try to tell you that no one should ever do it unless they are in a committed relationship, but what you are trying to do is just not right. At the very least, sex should be special, and in the circumstances you describe it's no more special than, if you'll pardon the bluntness, learning to masturbate. You're not doing her any favours by trying arrange this.
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