A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a terrible jealousy problem . But this is not without reasons . My boyfriend of 4 months has a very close friend , you could say me and her were his two best girl friends before everything happened and we started our relationship as a couple. But they were closer until we moved together for 9 Months me , my boyfriend and my then boyfriend actual ex. With my ex I have a 3 year old daughter and I dumped him for my best friend because he was a cheating liar and I fell in love with my best friend so why not cheat on the cheating backstabbing manipulating a**hole. Left him and now I'm suffering of the same jealousy with the same girl because yes, she's cute and both my ex and boyfriend have confessed they have a Crush on her.My ex used to talk about her on the daily, I always found flirting chats with her and he's a producer and even though I begged him to produce a song for me so I could sing to it ; I found a chat were he begged her to gather with him and make a song even though she could not sing he said its ok he would make auto tune for her!! This and other stuff made me crazy in my past relationship and when we were finally broken up she confessed to me that my ex hit on her for years and she always felt " stalked " but the suspicious about her is she continued to chat with him on the daily.Now that I'm over my ex and in love with “J” , same problem different boyfriend and the problem is again her but the thing is “J” always talks to her, and erases his chats , he confessed when we were just friends that they slept together once and she's the only girl he's had a crush for YEARS but nothing more happened because she started a relationship she's been on for all these years with a friend of his.Now that we are together he denies what he told me about him having a crush on her for years and the time they slept together was just a little mistake and they are just friends and “J” says " how can I break the trust her boyfriend has on me , I would never sleep with her again" but .... That's exactly what he did with me , breaking the trust of his best friend who was my ex and we lived together with my daughter so that's no excuse . And she's cheated on her boyfriend several times with one night stands so why not with the hot best friend who she adores.Other stuff that really bother me is she comes over to his house when I am there but she gets in the pool and then stays all day with her tiny push up Bikini on showing her cleavage. Her body is hot and she's skinnier than me and he likes skinny. She's always sending him pusheen cats with hearts on Facebook. She always tells him cute nicknames and he sometimes even calls her in front of me and don't even mention my name once. I've tried talking seriously and honestly about all that I'm feeling.He says he can block her from everything if I ask to but I feel I would be mocked for this by her because it happened in my past relationship and the last time he erased all his chat with her I found out and asked what he's hiding from me so he asked her to send a screenshot of what they were talking about and it was her asking him for likes on her fan page and he gave her 40 likes and erased the conversation and then got back in my room after erasing all proof and not say a single word about it, when she send the screenshots she said "why you asking me for this.... Lol" and then say something sarcastic indicating hmm... Lol somebodys jealous .... having trust problems so early lol" .PLEASE HELP ! I CANT EAT I CANT SLEEP WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT? Now shes copied my nickname I use for my art and I feel maybe i'm panicking but surely I have all the reasons ! She's nice to me so she can be around him but when she talks to him they turn all the conversations between the two of them only and look each other in the eyes and completely leave me out of the conversation and i can totally feel her satisfaction making me feel less than her.I forgot to say im Pretty and she is too just everyone has different tastes on women, and this I Say because im bisexual and I would totally sleep with her if I was drunk but I really hate her Now. What can i do about all this ? Please help !! any advice will be completely useful, thank u so much!
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best friend, crush, drunk, facebook, fell in love, flirt, jealous, liar, my ex, one night stand, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (12 July 2016):
 Sorry, OP, but why are you pregnant after only 4 months?!
You're in a very irresponsible and vulnerable position now, so you need to get counselling and family support. If you're going to raise this baby too, you *have* to get counselling. It's not an option, OP; your children need to have a strong, responsible, stable mother who isn't jealous and doesn't have trust issues.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice! I have stopped talking and thinking about this to save my relationship ; you say break up and move on but the thing is i'm pregnant with his baby and want this to work out . I have severe jealousy and trust issues and don't know how to get over the fact that he's slept with her and been in love with her and they are really close friends still ; they say where there was fire ashes are left and I can't trust there's no attraction where there oviously is :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2016): This is just screaming drama .. as a mother raising daughters and a mental health nurse .. If your living wit him pack your and your daughter stuff and go home to your parents .. If he lover you . He will chase you .. He will walk on red hot coals to make this work at 21 if that's your age .. only a few are ready to really settle down . In your and your relationship case, I have to say a big noo.
There too many I want what I can't have .. and hey at your age that's fine .. The thing is .. you have a child ..so you need to be maturer than these bampots so get a grip of your life .
No man and I mean no man .. is worth the worry of not sleeping ..not eating .. always wondering if your good enough .. Di hey cut him loose .. people who make you an option instead of their priority deserve to be left on their own .. who needs this .. you surely do not sweetie and neither does your child .. not that I agree with your behaviour in moving on fyom your ex to current bf either .. but that said .. you need to value you .. you need to say hey wait a minute there three of us in this room and either your bf includes you in the conversation or you go get a bucket of water and let them both cool down .. as I see it .. she is winding you and he disrespecting you .. he's not committed .. so move on .
If he does and I doubt it sorry love you and you leave . He will distances himself from her ..himself .. without you asking .. If she were a true friend .. just a friend .. she wouldn't even go there . She would respect he was in a relationship and just be friendly .
So my advice .. move out .. cut him loose . Work on you and your daughter ..
Take care let us know .. chin up
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (9 July 2016):
"so why not cheat on the cheating backstabbing manipulating a**hole" - because you lower them to your standards and disrespect the person you cheated on them with. That, and you have a 3 year old to influence - teach them the high road, not the revenge one.How do you know he always talks to her and erases his chats? Do you snoop? If so, that's got to stop."That's exactly what he did with me , breaking the trust of his best friend who was my ex" - by those standards, even though you were cheated on first, you can't be trusted not to cheat."Her body is hot and she's skinnier than me and he likes skinny" - your insecurities, not their fault. He's with you and could cheat with her if he wanted to, if she's offering up ONSs. That said, it's possible they just want the close friendship they have and don't want to ruin it with sex."sometimes even calls her in front of me and don't even mention my name once" - because he doesn't need to?"He says he can block her from everything if I ask to but I feel I would be mocked for this by her" - more importantly, you'd be resented by him for making him choose between you and his best friend. Not a good idea."PLEASE HELP ! I CANT EAT I CANT SLEEP" - you need to leave him, OP, and get counselling for your jealousy and trust issues. You've distrusted this guy so much, your "best friend", and it's only been 4 months. There's no future here, except a miserable one for all involved. If you push him away, which is what you're doing, maybe you'll encourage him to run to his best friend, even if they still don't have sex again."i can totally feel her satisfaction making me feel less than her" - it's highly possible she doesn't think of you as less than her, but you do, so that's why you're reading into it. Though it's a little rude to leave you out of conversations, if you're already there."What can i do about all this ? Please help !! any advice will be completely useful, thank u so much!" - it's not going to be what you want to hear, but you need to break up, maybe even stay friends, and get counselling. If you don't, your child will grow up with an unhealthy, obsessive mother (due to her severe jealousy and trust issues) and an unhealthy view of what relationships should be like.Also, what relationship does your child have with their father?
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