A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The past 3 years I have been a homemaker. I've taken care of all household cleaning and food preparations for my husband. I'm now in the process of starting an online shop to sell my artwork. For the past few months I've been working on creating an inventory. I've been working all day on my pieces and my housework hasnt been up to what I usually do. My husband hasnt been happy about it. He's said before that if he's working 9 hour days and I'm at home that I need to do everything. But I'm also working 9 hour days now trying to start this business. My issue is that it's not a 'real' job yet. I'm not making any money. How can I explain that I need some help with the housework to a man who has a full time job and works very hard and has grown to expect me to do everything. We got in a fight yesterday when I was to make dinner. I wasn't hungry and just wanted to make a snack. He wanted a full meal and told me I needed to make it for him. I ended up making his meal and then eating my snack separately. He doesn't understand that I was tired from working all day. How do I explain that my 'projects' are my job?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2016): Ahh, that cooking. You know, lots of women nowdays dont cook at all. O, your husband should feel very lucky that you cook. What i dont get, cant he take out sometimes his dinner?
My husband works out of the house and i work at home. My job doesn t take me full 40 hours but i clean and do laundry for both of us, and do food shopping. I cook once a week for a couple of days, and the rest either he cooks, or we take out, or we go out. He is out of the house for 9 hours so what, he can still make dinner sometimes and bring take out food.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 He's not very supportive and he's got a dodgy attitude. I don't like the man you portray - if this shop doesn't go as planned, find another one to get out of the house, at least part-time, and be independent of him.Honeypie gave great food tips. He *is* a grown up, so sometimes he can cook his own, order in or not eat. My brother is 17 and will eat two bowls of cereal or just plonk a tin of tuna in a bowl, if nobody is cooking for him - it guilt trips my parents into cooking for him regularly, when he's fully capable. Your husband is fully capable and you may need to remind him of that. "Robert, some days I don't want to cook; I'm working hard too and you can just get something from the fridge or freezer and put it in the oven." Don't let him walk all over you.However, you need to keep eating properly (not just a snack after a long day) and make/buy meals in advance for situations like this.Prove your husband wrong and either make this art shop work (good luck!) or get a different job, if it doesn't work out, so that you can take a break from being *his* housewife.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 July 2016):
 Sit him down and tell him.
Say :" I REALLY want to try and make a business selling my artwork, but without your help and support I find it almost impossible, so I'm asking you to help me till it takes off. I'm not expecting YOU to come home after 9 hours days and do everything, but I do think you can help pitch in. I expect to need around XX months to get it off to a good start after that? Well if it makes decent money, we can hire a cleaning lady"
And IF he wants a full meal and you aren't cooking that night? Guess what? He is a GROWN ASS man and can fend for himself. I get that he is the SOLE provider right now, but you are NOT the house-elf or unpaid maid here. YOU are his wife and it would be the right thing for him to support your efforts as best as he can. Demanding that you cook for him? *cough* I don't even know what to say, other than WTF?
I would also suggest that you CAN spend a Sunday preparing the weeks meals IF you so wanted. For instance when I make Lasagna I triple the recipe - cook one for dinner and freeze the other two. Now if you do something like that make up the meat sauce to 5X and freeze two portions for spaghetti bolognese or heck, make sauce without meat and add meatballs.... You can do that with a LOT of meals. It really all depends on what you two eat. I also bake 2 whole chickens, one for the dinner and one to use for 2 other meals, like Gumbo, Cesar's Salad, Fettuccine with diced chicken, chicken noodle soup or chicken and dumplings. Crock pot dinners take 0 effort and cook themselves. Like easy homemade potato-soup, it literally takes 15 minutes to wash, peel potatoes, carrots, onion and celery, wash, chop, add to pot add broth, turn it on high and walk away. You start that around noon it will be ready at 6pm. Or you can go with frozen meals (tv-dinners) for a while, not all of them are horrible.
So while I DO think it would be the RIGHT thing for him to support you and give you a hand around the house, I also think that it might not happen and thus... you might NEED to learn how to juggle until you have a separate income.
I really don't agree with his attitude, but I think YOU are going to have to make it work as best as you can. That may not be the help you wanted, but I just don't see a caveman like your husband change his attitude and respect your "hobby come business venture".
I still think you NEED to try and get this off the ground of you can, if not... and you two don't have kids... Get a job outside the home if the art stuff doesn't pan out.
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