A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm 50 now and 3-1/2 years ago I re-met my first cousin. We were around each other when we were very young only a few times because my uncle was in the military. I barely remembered him. When we reconnected, we were immediately best friends, laughing and sharing our lives. He came to visit and yep, we ended up together. My head tells me it's wrong and my heart says it's great. Our family doesn't like it and it has created animosity. With the way the world is now days and all the mismatched (my own opinion) relationships around us, how bad is it? We will have no kids and are not getting married. We are simply sharing a life. Opinions?
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female
reader, Gabrielle25 +, writes (25 December 2008):
Actually in many states it is legal to marry your first cousin. I had teachers in school one in 4th, one in 5th who were first cousins. Her mother and his mother were sisters, they're married and have 3 grown children. Its legal in this state, legal in a lot of states actually and because of the small amount of shares chromosomes, you have a very very very small chance of any birth defects in children. Its not as taboo as you'd think. Love is love, good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): I'm in a similar postition,except,i love my mum's cousin,so he is my first cousin once removed,but i havent told him yet !.There is an eight year age gap between us.So i can understand how it feels to be in love with a family member.I've liked him for a really long time now,but the problem is,i have hardly seen him.He used to live near me,although even then i rarely saw him,but he lives in another part of the country now thats far away.I'm hoping he will come up here for christmas,like he usually does.I've never bumped into him at christmas yet,but i hope i will this time.I know some places he sometimes goes in when he is up here,and i have been there myself,so i could try and have a look,although i wouldnt know what time or what day he would be there.
We are intouch on a social networking site,so he could contact me if he wanted to meet.I have asked him sometimes before to meet,but he hasnt responded.Whenever we have seen each other before,it has either been on family occassions,or we have just bumped into each other.It seems like he likes me,as he has smiled at me alot,bought me a drink sometimes,said i was beautiful,and really good looking !,and even danced with me to a slow song once at a party.He has also asked if i had a boyfriend afew times.Once i said no,and he said you'll get one.Another time i said no again,and he said get out,you're doing something wrong there.If only he knew the real reason why i dont have a boyfriend,and if he knew how much i like him !.I wanted to tell him sometimes when i saw him,but i didnt feel brave enough.The closest i came to it was just by saying i thought he was good looking,and that it's legal for cousins to go out with each other.I was trying to drop hints !.I've also smiled at him,and given him a kiss on the cheek,and hugged him afew times.Once i hugged him,and held on abit too long !.
Once,he wanted me to sneak off with him,without telling my family where i was going aswell.And i thought,would he want me to do that if he only thought of me as a friend/family member ?.This was very late at night.I had bumped into him in a club,unfortunately,i was out with other family members,and didnt feel i could risk sneaking off with him.He rang me when i got home and wanted me to sneak outt he house,but i wasnt brave enough.This was after midnight !.I regret not going with him that night,to be honest,as i'm not sure if i will ever get another opportunity.I feel depressed and annoyed with myself,and my family,that i couldnt go.One family member saw us as we were almost heading out the door.He had walked really fast towards the door,but i was hesitating about going,and he said come on,be a bit rebelleous.Whatever that means !.This family member who saw us went mad at my mum's cousin though,and my mum's cousin said it wasnt anything to do with him.This family member had asked what was wrong with him.I wish i had stood up to this family member and said i am old enough to make my own decisions and insisted that i went with him.
You see,it could be different if we saw each other now,as with us being intouch on the social networking site,we werent intouch on it last time we saw each other,and with him living away,we could easily have a secret relationship,without any family members knowing.Thats why i really want to tell him !.It depends if we can have a long distance relationship though.
I have only spoken to him once on the website,and once on another website he used to go on.I am tempted to tell him how i feel online,but i think it would be better to tell him in person.
I think you are doing the right thing not marrying and not having kids.If i had a relationship with my mum's cousin,i wouldnt want to marry him or have kids either,it would just seem too strange.I'm not even sure if i would have sex with him,as that would also feel strange,but yet,i wouldnt have problem kissing him,or going out with him.I bet it would only be a fling though,or a very short term relationship.If our family cant except it,if we end up together that is,i cant see it lasting long
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