A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a MASSIVE crush on a male teacher at my school, he's like the fittest person ever, however this is the cause of uncontrollable consequences...For starters, recently i've noticed that whenever i stare at him he looks back - I love this eye contact i often have with him but obviously he's looking back at me cos i'm staring at him! So i kinda get the impression that he knows i'm very fond of him, which makes me feel really nervous when im around him, incase he says something about it.To be honest, that's the least of my worries... I was told by mates that he's goin out with another teacher who also teaches at my school, and today this has unfortunately been confirmed as i saw them walk out of school together, then to their car! Obviously i was angry and i think it really showed in my face!I'M SO JEALOUS! she does seem rather a nice person but since i found out bout this 'fling' she's having with him, i've been giving her the dirtiest looks you can imagine - I always comment about her quite loudly to my mates saying what a fat, small, frizzy-haired and four-eyed cow she is. I know it's awful, and i'm a little worried she overheard! I feel really guilty talkin bout her like that (cos really, i am a nice person) but when i think how she's going out with or *possibly married to* the man who i want - i just get out of control!I'm quite aware how my big-mouth could get me into alot of trouble...If he were to know i am obsessed with him, that surely that would be a little humiliating! But if his wife or even worse *him* were to overhear me talk about her like i do and also knew the reason behind it...god knows what sir would fink of me then and more importantly what he'd do about it!I'm not sure what how i can summarise this into one question - but i just need some advice, all would be appreciated thank you xox
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): ok i was searching askjeeves...cz i actually need advice on the same problem...i have the exact same feelings on my body pump instructor...hes gorgeous best body and so so so sweet,we always make eye contact he smiles and stuff ok so then 2days ago he comes to class with a ring on his lef hand so i was like damn him hes married i was so sad seriously my heart broke...but its so wierd why would he look at me if he's married second while doing sports there was this song and a part it said"i know u love me"...so he pointed at me in the middle of class and lypsynced the "i know u love me"part and started laughing and i wa slike what the heck does he know it was an awkward moment but kind of a relief i dont know hes too young to be married i dont want to lose this feeling ilove to see him i get all nervous...i want to hear what u think and about u i would continue as i am...i mean once my friend heard that hes married she told me back out but i cant i dont want to hes incredible i caqnt go onwithout him heheh so im telling u just stay till ur 1500% sure nothing wll ever hapoen...THEN COMES THE HEARTACHE...plz reply i want to listen to ur advice :) i also realized this is kind of old so what happened?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): ok i was searching askjeeves...cz i actually need advice on the same problem...i have the exact same feelings on my body pump instructor...hes gorgeous best body and so so so sweet,we always make eye contact he smiles and stuff ok so then 2days ago he comes to class with a ring on his lef hand so i was like damn him hes married i was so sad seriously my heart broke...but its so wierd why would he look at me if he's married second while doing sports there was this song and a part it said"i know u love me"...so he pointed at me in the middle of class and lypsynced the "i know u love me"part and started laughing and i wa slike what the heck does he know it was an awkward moment but kind of a relief i dont know hes too young to be married i dont want to lose this feeling ilove to see him i get all nervous...i want to hear what u think and about u i would continue as i am...i mean once my friend heard that hes married she told me back out but i cant i dont want to hes incredible i caqnt go onwithout him heheh so im telling u just stay till ur 1500% sure nothing wll ever hapoen...THEN COMES THE HEARTACHE...plz reply i want to listen to ur advice :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Well i also have a crush on one of my teachers,even today i wish he was mine,hes young and cute!,but thats not all that matters....you need to try and face him and see if he knows that you like him,give little signs like,i usually always have eye contact and i always ask a question(keep eye contact whe you do)teachers go nuts about it,but if you reallythink itover...what are the chances of you 2 ever being together....my best advice is keep it a crush and have fun with it...but dont let it get in the way of social life you know...but anyways i know how you feel..stomach hurts when you see him and you cant really talk to him,its normal...just keep your crush and who knows he mite notice and tell you something you wanna hear!!!good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): well ive recently had a major crush on my teacher too.i know it is really hard to deal with.but maybe those two teachers you were talking about are actually really good friends.maybe your jealousy towards her got the best of you.dont worry about it.i was in the exact same situation youre in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI duno wot to do, i jus wanna kiss him! I love the guy - i kno u say it isn't normal to hav a massive obsession but i dn't fink i want it to stop, yes it does hurt to kno dat i cannot b with him! However, This crush has got to the limit n i dnt fink i cud bare the thought of not havin these strong feelings for him! I always fantacise about admittin my love to him, and he feels the same way - den we kiss! I kno u must all fink i'm a physco feelin this for a man nearly old enuf to b my dad. I just feel for him sooo much xx
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (22 June 2007):
 I think you should find a counselor or someone you can trust who will help you get over this problem. It's not normal. I mean, yes it's normal to have a crush on someone and think you're world is going to fall apart if you can't be with them (it won't by the way), but you becoming obsessed and that's not normal. You need help to get past these very strong feelings and to focus on the bigger picture here -- school #1, boys your own age #2 and teachers - completely off limits. I wish you the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know it sounds silly but i don't fink i can go on without him, the eagerness of wanted him and the jealousy of his wife is really gettin the better of me! I feel so depressed and lately i can barely even stop thinking of him! I want him to talk to me and like me, but i'm so shy and probs wouldn't b able to make the first move in talking to him. It mayb wudn't b a guud idea anywayz cos i dnt fink dat wiv these feelings i'd b able to resist flirting with him if he did happen to talk to me - and it would be so humiliating! I duno wot to do, i luv him and i can't even stand weekends anymore cos it's a whole 2 days without seeing him and the pain is ansolutely unbareable! it's not just the fact of wanting him, it's also the feeling of NEEDING him...seriously my life feels so screwed up at the min, plz help x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh My Gawd! Thee gawjuss teacher knows i fancy him, i can see how awkward he feels whenever i stare at him! Ders been many times at which i've thought this, but his reaction today has been a BIG BIG givaway...I was walking towards the dining hall, when i spotted him simply standing there. I looked right at him den when i looked away, at the corner of my eye, i saw him turn around and walk away...Few mins later i see him agen standing in the distance *throwing his keys in the air and catching them, continuously lol - bless him* And as i turned to look at him, he was totally staring at me! He's been acting kinda strange wiff my mate, apparently he looked right at her as she entered his classroom and being a bit random, he made her smell a jar of coffee Lol! I know he sounds a bit weird, but he is a propper mature gentleman and i fancy him to bits! Am jus so confused...does he know or not?
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reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Time is the only cure for what ails you. Your crush will fade over time. In the meantime try and keep your mouth shut and bite your tongue when you feel like making with the smart-ass comments about the female teacher.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know you all mean well, but most ppl seem to be gettin the idea that i am after a relationship with him...i know the risks - i aint stupid! I would NOT dare go out with a teacher. I'm just obsessed and i wanna control my actions towards him and his girlfriend/wife before i do sumfin humiliating! Also, as a few people may question...i am 15! and this man i adore is 30ish.
Thanx for all yur advice ppl and can you all stop telling me to forget bout him, it aint gunna happen no matter how much i try - however taking aboard these points i've just made, please please please offer me some more advice. I need as much as i can get!!! xox
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 June 2007):
 In the UK it is illegal for teachers to have relationships with pupils. I wouldn't worry about what he thinks of you because teachers are used to dealing with teenage crushes and should maintain some professionalism about it. What you are learning is a difficult lesson in life, you cannot always have what you want and neither should it be that way. Don't be horrible about the female teacher as it doesn't sound like she is a bad person and frankly only one person gets eaten up by jealously...you.
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reader, Dazzerg +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I think you have been very mature in admitting this is a crush. I think you are enjoying the attention of a man who you obviously find attractive and thats all natural. Your reaction to him being with somebody else is again natural and I think the key thing here is not to beat yourself up over it emotionally because it doesnt make you a bad person to feel that way it makes you a human being.
I dont think you need to worry about him finding out. Having said that, you need to realise that its not likely to ever happen. I wouldnt question that this person is special to you however on the other hand there are plenty of special people out there who can be attractive.
Are there other boys you find attractive? Hope that helps.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (19 June 2007):
To begin with, don't be so sure that just because he sees you looking at him, that he really thinks anything about it or is in some way reciprocating your feelings. He's the teacher. I'm sure most of the students are looking at him while he's standing up there, uh...teaching. Secondly, this man is obviously involved with someone else. Don't screw that up for him. If you were involved with a great guy and you had alot of fun together, (maybe you were even married) would you want some doe-eyed female student making a pass at him? I don't think so. You know the rule, do unto others.... It would be wise for you to stop obsessing about him and focus on someone else. Perhaps a cute student that's available. Obsessive love like this never works out and if he thinks you're stalking him, and making rude comments about his date it's not going to make points in your favor. If you can't quit obsessing, drop his class and take it with another instructor. And no more rude comments. It's childish. If you are nice, then be nice.
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female
reader, Beckto +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Teacher crushes are totally normal. But, you're apparently 13-15 years old. At his youngest, your teacher could be in his early 20s.
A relationship with you would be terribly risky for him on so many different levels. He would loose his job, get arrested, go to jail, possibly be sued, possibly get divorced, possibly loose any visitation rights he may have if he has his own children, he may have to pay large legal bills, loose his reputation, and never be able to teach children again. He would have to find a totally different career that had nothing to do with young people -- by law!
So, as much as you are crushing on him, if he's smart, he won't have any other relationship with you than a student-teacher one.
Just stay strong and it will eventually pass. Try to keep it to yourself if you can to avoid embarassment, but still express how you feel: Write in a journal, for example, but don't show it to anyone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): Yes, with a smart mouth like that. It could get you into a lot of trouble. You need to get over him. He is your teacher. You're a student. You will never have a relationship with him. Move on. Enjoy being a young teenager. And just because they were walking together does not mean they have a relationship together. Anyhow, even if they did, it shouldn't be any of your business anyway or anyone elses business for that matter. I'm sorry to sound so harsh and all, but these are the real facts sweetie.
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