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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm with my boyfriend for a year and love him very much.I would never do anything to hurt him. And I always say "don't do things you're not prepared to be honest about". The base of our relationship is trust, deep emotional intimacy, mental compatibility. Physical attraction is our weaker point (both ways, we talked about that. We're both very rational types a lot of the time), but it works just fine when it's pulled by the emotional aspects of our relationship. But there's my new co-worker. He's not a nice man. He's fun, but he's a player and a drunk. He has this very strong, manly figure that you get from manual work, not by going to the gym and has an aura of reckless confidence. He's smart (studying to be a doctor), but hides it well behind an almost hobo-like attitude. He's constantly (and really crudely) flirting with all the other girls, but not with me. I just fantasize about approaching him at a party sometime and just asking "sex?" and see all his surface confidence melt away (I have a feeling it's just an act), leaving me to lead all the way from there. I would never, ever do that, but I feel oddly sorry for having to miss out on this man.I will talk about it with my boyfriend once we get to talk (it's a long distance thing right now), he talked to me when he felt like falling in love with one of his friends, after all, and that worked out well. But I just want to hear what you think of the situation and why I think so much about sleeping with this guy.
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co-worker, confidence, drunk, flirt, long distance, player Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sunset93  +, writes (24 August 2015):
Im in a long distance relationship myself, and can relate to finding other men attractive. These are only glimpse second fantasties, not something I have urges to act upon because my feelings for my boyfriend are strong and I have find him also incredibly attractive.I dont beat myself up about it though, because we are all human. You can love someone, but that doesn't stop human instinct of finding other men attractive, its whether you want to act upon it or not that defines how you should proceed with this relationship.Men who are a chanllenge too, you know a flirt, a player, are always exciting. In a LRD its hard to keep the excitment there, so if you're not enjoying the time apart from your boyfriend and the long distance side of things- maybe the distance is too much, and you are missing the attention that comes with having someone more present in your life.Don't act out on it until you've had a while to think, the more time you spend with this co-worker the more you'll find out if these feelings are purely just attraction based or if it is something you want to act upon.The sooner you find yourself going round his for coffee on a Friday night, you'll know if you really want to be with your boyfriend or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015): hi. This is a fantasy. your partner is miles away, you aren't in physical proximity etc....and you are basically relaying you don't find your partner sexually exciting from what you are saying, or certainly not that sexually exciting.This guy is to you however. you may have talked to you partner about your mutual acceptance of this aspect being ok, something you are both happy to compromise on....However in reality you are showing here that you are missing it actually. you say he talked to you when he 'felt like falling in love' with a woman....This is an odd way of phrasing this I think. I don't think anyone 'feels like falling in love'. It happens. you don't choose. He talked to you about this? I find that hard to connect to. The relationship you guys have seems logical, led by the head and not the heart. almost a check list of essential and desirable aspects tick list. This is key to why you are so very drawn to this guy.....what you do with this is down to you....
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A
male
reader, IanHenryCooper +, writes (12 August 2015):
 You see him as a challenge - I bet you are competitive?
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