A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So this isnt a relationship questions this is just about me and my purpose...So a little about me i’m 29 been with my partner 5 years live together, can see a futute together which consists of marriage and children, all is good. I am really close to my family although we live around an hour apart i speak to a them most days and see them most weeks. I have good friends although dont see enough of them but i guess life sometimes gets in the way! I have a good job, ive been to university twice i’m well educated and have a career. I’ve travelled quite a lot for my age and i’m taking a career break next year to travel more: i have a nice car and savings etc etc you get the picture on paper my life is fine.!But i feel i am lacking purpose, i enjoy my life and my job is stressful but rewarding. But i dont have a passion, i dont know what my reason to be born was and this terrifies me! I see others around me who are passionate about their hobbies or interests but i dont seem to have anything! Ive tried so many things photography, guitar playing, fitness, learning a language etc etc but i do them for a few monthw i get boring and quit having only learned the basics.Do some people just not have a passion? How do i find my passion? Or my purpose?I’ve had this feeling for years and have actively tried to search for this but to no avail:Please help
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 November 2017):
 If you work with children in need and are passionate about your work, surely that counts as your purpose in life? Most people are not lucky enough to work in an environment they actually CARE about so have to look for their "purpose" outside of work. I would LOVE to work in an environment I felt passionately about (my passion is care of the vulnerable - animals primarily, but also vulnerable humans, like the homeless, aged, disabled, etc). Sadly I have never worked in that environment so "fill the gap" by volunteering for animal rescue and welfare, and by donating to homeless charities, etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2017): I meant to say:
"Your life will seem humdrum;"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2017): I took a look at aunt honesty's advice, and I think she made a good point. Everyone has excellent answers; but she touched on a very good point in particular.
I agree that you are over-thinking; because we tend to sometimes compare what we do and who we are to other people. They may seem more talented, have shinier lives, or show more passion. We go to our school reunions or watch talent presentations on TV, or just observe special abilities in other people. Sometimes that makes us feel insignificant or that we lack ambition or talent.
You work with children, and you give of yourself. It truly takes special people to have the patience and skills required to deal with the special needs of children. They can't always express their issues; or communicate at a level that they are fully understood and/or appreciated. You have the knack and special abilities that requires. You also volunteer; but I don't think you are getting the full appreciation out of it, as you should.
Don't ever do anything just to be going through the motions. Never downplay your natural gifts. Be thankful for them. Put all you've got into it. If you don't appreciate yourself, you won't!
You life will seem humdrum; because it's not something you can showcase, or brag about at a cocktail party. I know, you sit with your girlfriends and everybody embellishes on how they do this and that, or you have a sibling who always seemed to excel at anything they try. It can sometimes make you feel average, lazy, or that you lack special qualities to seem more interesting. At least you've tried a lot of different things, but you're not giving yourself credit for the effort.
You've tried a little bit of everything; so you know the basics. If you wanted to, you could go back to anything you've tried and become better at it just to prove something to nobody but yourself. I hope my post is making sense to you.
Maybe the problem is, you feel somewhat under-appreciated as a person. You're looking for something to make you feel "above average" or set apart from the rest.
Uniqueness is something we're born with, my dear. Stop looking for a banner to prove you're special; but look for something fun and enriching. You'll stumble upon things that catch your interest; or sometimes you unexpectedly discover a hidden talent just by trying different things. The key is to enjoy the thrill of discovery. The fulfillment of experience. You're too focused on trying to prove something.
You want to prove you're good at something that requires a special skill or talent.
Your star shines based on the kind of person that you are and how you represent yourself to the world. You are shaping the lives of children; which goes beyond many other professions. Hobbies and interests are basically for the sake of self-entertainment, fun, and recreation; or intellectual-stimulation. The world is full of things to explore, and hunting for your special niche is a hobby within itself!
Best wishes on your journey!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2017): Hey i’m the op.
Thanks for your reply my job is working with children who are in need so i help people each day and i volunteer twice per month at a hospital but thanks for your responses i’ll try and make a list and work through them or maybe try and help others when i travel next year
I appreciate your help thanks
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A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (3 November 2017):
 Wow. It appears we have something in common. I too feel listless and lacking in passion for a particular hobby. Nothing seems to really stick. A number of people suggested giving back. So here I am, on DearCupid.org trying to give back and help others and it's actually kind of nice. Let's you break away from yourself for a while and focus on the many problems other people have. I also started putting in some extra effort on a business idea I have in mind.What I can suggest is making a long list of all the things you may be interested in doing then just go through it by trying to do as many of them as you can. One thing I believe I have learned about passion is that it probably won't just come to you like that, sometimes you have to just start something and as you go along THEN the passion develops. Maybe you're more of an adrenaline junkie, see if more extreme sports and hobbies can work to your benefit like sky diving, parkour or bike riding.Feeling passion-less can easily be linked to a lack of frequent hormones in your body. Do you feel good or happy most of the time? Do you think your lack of passion could be linked to some deep-rooted issue from the past? Don't stop exploring to find the best you. Sometimes you may be looking for a glamorous type of hobby when in the end it could just be something really simple like browsing the web.All the best.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 November 2017):
 I think you are over thinking things and it is making you unhappy. So you don't have a passion in life at the moment, so what? you have a job, your health and your wealth, you have family and friends so to me it sounds like you are doing okay. Don't stress about what you don't have. You are well educated and traveled so again great. You are planning to do more travelling, so what more is it you want? Maybe try voluntary work, maybe work with children in need or animals in need. It might give you some self worth.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 November 2017):
 Volunteer. A lot of people's passions aren't self-serving, like the ones you mentioned. Photography, guitar playing, fitness, learning a language, etc. are all about you. None of them help others.
Volunteer at an animal rescue, care home, homeless shelter, soup kitchen, etc. Heck, even travel with charities to actively help people in other countries - building wells, delivering clothes/water, etc. Don't just volunteer in a charity shop, put yourself in a position to actively help people/animals.
Take the great life you have and make someone else's better.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (2 November 2017):
 You can try by putting yourself out there and by helping/serving others, especially those who are sick, suffering and in need of assistance and some friendly act of kindness and support.
This with time, you'd find incredibly rewarding, because you'd see the real difference that you're making for someone else and their life.
Most of us, regardless of status and even our sense of self, wonder what life end even our life is all about and what it's true purpose or meaning is.
There are no real answers to some of life's biggest questions, however, if we look at life as this massive bubble with all of us, this massive family of human beings living within it, it makes us remember and realise that we're all of the same species, we all share this one earth and we're all united in some way, the human way.
If we help others, this is one big humanly purpose served.
Surely we're not here just to please ourselves, so why not get out there and help others.
Maybe then, you'll come to realise your true life's purpose.
Most of what you've done and tried has been for you, but perhaps try doing things for others.
Give a bit of you and your time to others and it needn't be too much of your time, just some.
All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2017): keep trying, because even if you never finish what you start; you're getting some exposure.
Since you have a little time you want to kill; trying doing a little volunteer work to help others. It may not require any long-term commitment; but it's rewarding for whatever time you put into it.
There are always charities and humanitarian organizations looking for mentors for girls/children, helping homeless or battered-women, hospitals need volunteers; or you can pick any cause you like. If you speak English and Italian, you can be a translator anyplace that can use someone who is bi-lingual.
Some people don't have a particular talent or calling; but everyone has a purpose. Helping people isn't glamorous, or may not make you famous; but there is always a purpose for it.
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