A
male
age
30-35,
*ichael30
writes:I’m 18 years old guy and I’m having a trouble with my orientation. I think I’m in love with a male. It seems so crazy to me, yet it’s true. My father owns a small firm and there’s one worker there who’s driving me crazy. Almost every day I come to visit my dad at his work and every day I see this man. Usually I spend time in my dad's office and then I watch him through the window all the time. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m straight and I’ve a girlfriend, but when I see him, everything changes. He’s so handsome, strong, athletic man. He makes me tremble every time he looks at me and says hello. Sometimes, when passing by, I feel his scent and I’m really getting hard. My heart just jumps out of my chest every time he as much as looks at me. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve never been into guys before, but this is something different. I don't like other guys though, it's just this one man. I’ve tried not to think about him, but every evening before going to bed it all comes back into my mind. I masturbate, thinking about how could we make love. When I’m having sex with my girlfriend I think about him. Does that mean I’m gay? Or maybe bi? I barely talk to him and the only feelings that he has shown towards me is politeness and respect. I think that maybe he's afraid to talk to me, as I'm the son of the boss. I feel like I can't stand this anymore. I've written a letter about what I feel to him. I carry it with me all the time, but I don't know should I give it to him. I know that probably he’s not into guys, because he’s so manful yet I cannot get over him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (14 September 2012):
When I was in high school, I had a crush on this beautiful, feminine, intelligent girl. I felt more longing for her than i've ever felt for any other person. My heart ached knowing we could never ever be together. She had thick chestnut brown hair, her eyes were green but twinkled with golden-brown stars and were framed by luscious dark lashes. She had perfect curves, olive skin, beautiful naturally red luscious lips. I yearned to kiss her...
And, guess what?
I realized it was lust. It was a fantasy. It was something that was fun to masturbate to, but it was something that could never be more than a fantasy. She is the only woman i've ever felt this way about, and i'm certain my feelings stemmed from feeling inadequately feminine for my gender. She was everything I thought a woman should be, I am the opposite. I disn't really want to be with her romanticly...i only wanted to be with her because that was the closest i would ever get to experiencing what i believed was feminine perfection.
The rest of my desires have been for men. Essentially, I didn't really want her, I just wanted to BE her.
If this is the only man you have ever had desires for, perhaps your desires stem from a deep desire to be as masculine as he is? It is something to ponder. If this does seem to be the case, you could perhaps take stems towards creating a more masculine persona. Lift weights, build muscle, take up a sport...whatever will bring you closer to the appearance you desire.
In any case, i think you need to destroy the letter. How would your girlfriend feel if she found it? You also need to ask yourself how you feel about your girlfriend? How would your father react if he discovered you had feelings for a male employee? I don't think you have thought all of this through. Please, do not make any impulsive decisions.
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 You could just be going through a phase and be curious? I don't mean that to sound harsh or make it seem like this isn't a serious problem because I'm sure to you it's horrible to go through. I'm not sure if by the information you have shared here, that you are necessarily gay. You're young and you're probably just experiencing different feelings. It's perfectly natural. I used to think about this girl I was best friends with a lot when I was younger, but I didn't like girls in that way at all. Yet my friend was different. Your mind could be playing tricks on you. If you love your girlfriend and you know you do, then why risk that for some day dream? :) x
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