| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have a problem, I've been talking to this guy for about 6 months now. At the time we first started to talk he did not have a gf, and we had a lot of good times together. I always went out of my way for him and did everything I could for him, but just a few weeks ago he told me he got back together with his ex. But I really really like him, and I have a feeling he likes me too becuase I spend atleast 3 days a week with him, and he doesn't even spend that much time with his girlfriend. What should I do? I really like him, and I'm really sure he likes me, but why did he get back with that other girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): Well, it sounds like he and his ex are still trying to work out their relationship and it is possible to have romantic feelings for more than one person at a time, which is a very confusing place to be.
I understand that you really like him but you say you do everything for him....it sounds to me a bit like you are working very hard to make this guy love you without really asking yourself if he is really deserving of you and all of this effort you are putting into the relationship.
Sometimes we women work to hard at this and it can actually work against us in the love game, because the guy does not have to do anything to show how much he cares about you, he can keep you on the string cause you are a sure thing, where the ex may be more of an unsure thing and a challenge, so he is more apt to go that direction to keep her or keep you both.
In my mind, if you really want things to change, you would be best to give him and her their space, be less available, stop doing stuff for him, and just be cooly friendly for awhile....you can't force him to be in a relationship with you, but if you remain a friend and welcome him back when their relationship ends, things may end up the way you want them too....you just have to move on for now, or he won't respect you much.
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