A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am 17 year old girl.I am little worried. I happen to meet a boy last year who had come from a different city. Initially we didn't talk much. After all he was a new-comer. But I slowly realised we had similar interests. And I came to know he was quite talented, had achieved commendable position at few national level events. Even I had one or two national level achievements so I was naturally impressed. He used to tell about the city he came from, how he had gone to different cities for several conventions independently. Though he appeared cold and aggressive, given his built for he is among the tallest in our class, he is actually quite the opposite. He is very polished, jovial and polite with people. He is humble in spite of him being so talented. I can vouch that he was one the very few competent students in our school. But somehow he reflected seriousness of purpose though he is never really seen distressed. He also displays a level of maturity which is a rarity in our age group. He doesn't display emotions and sensitivity but that does not signify it's absence. I sensed this when we started talking regularly. Our friendship grew and slowly I developed feelings for him. This wasn't very prompt. It took about 6 months to realise this. I enjoy his company and truly care for his feelings. When somebody praises him I feel very happy. Though he rarely picks up a fight, whenever such strife happens I am always there to pacify him. But now I know this infatuation is intensified. I long for his presence. I wish to be with him, listen to all his woes which he keeps deep inside his heart and share all the happenings in our lives. The cause of this is definitely not due to physical attraction. I don't believe in that.But I know it isn't mutual. He values our friendship greatly though. And even now when we talk it is like to two old friends chatting on. Henceforth I am unable to concentrate on anything else, for my preoccupation with thoughts about him takes up all my time. But this is the duration I must study to get into a good university and since I have been good academically, a lot of pressure from family weighs on me.Please advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 January 2016):
 It is quite common when you have a good friendship that romantic feelings will follow. It happens more than you probably realize. Now you need to ask yourself if you want to pursue something with him or keep him as a friend. Either way you deserve to be truthful to yourself.
It sounds to me like you have already told yourself that he does not like you, but that might not be true. You need to tell him how you feel and give him a chance to do the same. If he says no well you may be sad but at least you will know that you tried instead of sitting back doing nothing and letting the opportunity slide.
I can understand why you feel a lot of pressure. But you need to also deal with your feelings, and when you do that pressure will go away and you will be able to continue to study.
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