A
female
age
36-40,
*iss blondie
writes:Hi guys! Was wondering if could get your opinions please? Sorry about the length of this post! Been dating my boyfriend for 4 months and on the whole things are going really great, he's a very sweet, understanding and caring guy... BUT there's been a few wee niggling things the last couple of weeks that have started to bug me and make me doubt our relationship:*He's usually a good/happy drunk. On his birthday he ended up in a very bad drunken mood; I'm putting it down to being overworked, tired and supposedly some of his best buddies forgot his birthday. But on this night out he took it all out on me and was quite nasty to me which I was hurt by as I'd gone to loads of effort for his birthday. When we were sitting beside eachother waiting for a taxi, I glanced over and saw by accident that he was slagging me off to his buddy in a text calling me a c*?t. He didn't remember this the next day and was shocked at his behaviour. He apologised profusely and claimed it wasn't meant and only said because he was drunk and things got taken out on me as I was the one there.*I've never been one for checking partners phones and made this clear to him. A few days after the birthday incident he put a password on his phone claiming it was to stop work mates/friends sending texts from his phone as a laugh (which they have done before but not for a while)so I don't understand why the sudden recent secretive behaviour. I have no desire to read through his phone but it's the behaviour change that concerns me. Especially as he did it after I saw that text he sent to his buddy slagging me off... does this mean he's worried I'd find more texts like that?*He usually texts everyday but there's been a couple of times he's not got in touch at all recently and has been with some "new friends" I've never heard of and he's never mentioned again.*After unprotected sex together I have been experiencing a burning sensation when peeing. The other morning I noticed a red patch of skin on his penis that was never there before. I expressed my concerns about it and he replied "I didn't get it from another girl if that's what you think". To be fair he looked genuingly hurt when saying this even though I didn't accuse him of anything out-right.*He blurted out it worries him if I take a while to text back but has now been taking ages himself to text back.*He asked me to text him last night so I did but the reply I got was basically "i'm fine thanks" but didn't ask how I was in reply and that was last I've heard. We were supposed to meet up to go somewhere this afternoon if he managed to get time off work... But I've heard nothing since the blunt text last night and it's now half 9 at night so I guess I'm to assume we weren't to go anymore!Am I being weird being concerned/annoyed about this behaviour? Should I talk to him about my concerns or let them be? Sorry about the length of the post!xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Sounds like he is genuinly sorry for his drunken behaviour... No it wasn't right, but I think you should forgive and forget, so long as it doesn't happen again.
After all everyone has their off days.
I think you could be scared of being so comfortable and happy with him. Could a fear of being hurt, be affecting the way you are thinking about his actions? You've never been this close and happy with anyone before. This is unknown ground for you and you don't know what's going to happen...
Try relax more. It sounds like your a good couple and he's made a few silly drunken mistakes. There's rational explanation behind the phone locking...
And the red patch on his penis could be due to something simple... For example, if you have an infection, your vagina's PH level could be more acidic than usual and be affecting him.
Go to a doctor soon.
Emivia
A
female
reader, miss blondie +, writes (16 June 2009):
miss blondie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCool, hopefully it is just a simple bladder/uti infection... I've noticed my pee being very concentrated and smelling a bit sweet/tangy so could well be something simple.
I guess the other stuff could have rational explainations... Like the phone lock thing, he said he only did it recently after someone showed him how, his phone is used for work purposes too and in the past his work collegues have sent stupid immature texts to his whole phone book... including business clients so it could be genuine. And the bad drunken mood has been a once off, I've seen him pretty wasted before and he's usually the life and soul of the party. And I guess most folk who like to drink have been guilty of getting wasted and doing/saying things they regret. I dont think it would have mattered who was there, they would have got the brunt of his mood. I mean I guess anyone would be pissed off if all their best friends forgot their birthday, they were exhausted AND had to fire someone for stealing on his birthday right? It still doesn't make his behaviour right though and he fully understands this... he was shocked at his own out of character behaviour. The red patch on his penis could even be something as simple as eczema?
On the whole our relationship is really good, we get on very well and have both managed to confide in eachother a lot (something neither of us have managed with previous partners). We've both said that we're the happiest/comfortable we've ever been with a partner.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): You could have a bladder infection or an infection in your urethra. I had a bladder infection once... Appeared out of nowhere and burned when I went to the toilet, especially so after sex. I also needed to go a lot more often.
Go to a doctor and get yourself checked. Better to find out sooner than later if it's something more serious. If it's just a normal infection you can get it cleared up easily an quickly and it should help put some of your fears out the window.
Then I think you should talk to you boyfriend. You are obvious unhappy and the way he is acting is causing you stress, so it's better to sort this out, rather than trying to ignore it and let the issues get worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): 1) DTMFA (google it)
2) Probably just a UTI. Drink lots of pure cranberry juice and go to your doctor for some meds. You can clear it up really fast, don't worry.
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