A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This might be long, but I'll try to make it as short as possible.Here goes... Basically, I'm in love with a guy that I can't have! (We'll call him Chris) And I have a boyfriend who we'll call Jay. I met Jay almost 3 years ago, and Chris about 4-5 months after that. Jay wanted me to meet some of his mates so one day when he had the day off work, he introduced me to his work mates. Chris was the last one that I was introduced to and the only one to shake my hand. I thought he was pretty cute just from looking at him and then when he touched my hand, my heart started racing!I thought about him for about a whole 3 days after that and told myself that it was just a crush and that it would go. About a week later it did. Two weeks after that, my boyfriend and I were invited to one of his colleagues' leaving do. Jay spent most of the night talking to everyone else other than me, whereas Chris spent the whole night talking to me. I thought it was sweet and that there might be something in it but then decided that he was probably just being friendly because I was sat on my own and didn't know anyone.Then a few months later, there was the staff Christmas party. The same thing happened. Jay left me to talk or dance with his mates and I was left alone and Chris came and spoke to me the whole night. Towards the end of the night whilst everyone were waiting for taxis and whatever to take them home, that's when Jay came back. And I noticed that Chris was looking over quite a lot and smiling then looking away whenever I turned around.After the Christmas party, I didn't see Chris a whole lot. About three times in a year where nothing much happened, but he'd always find a reason to talk to me on MSN. Also, Chris is single. He has been for the entire time I've known him. I was going to try and set him up with one of my mates, but I couldn't find out what kind of women he was into. He always said he didn't know. So I got Jay to try and find out whilst he was at work one day. Chris still wouldn't give any details, but he did say to Jay, "Put it this way, you must be proud of [my name]." I've even been told he's googled me. To be honest, I didn't know if this was a good thing or something to be scared of! Lol, but I was told it was a good thing. This year, I've only seen him three times so far, and I can't stop thinking about them, or him! The first was when he stayed at mine and Jay's house. We had a night out and he stayed here til the morning after. Jay had to go to work which just left Chris and I. At first we didn't talk for ages. Neither of us are morning people! But when we'd both had a shower (seperately, might I add!) and woken up a bit, the conversation was great. We laughed pretty much all morning. The last three hours he stayed only seemed like half an hour, and when he was on his way out of the house, we stood at the door talking for another 10 minutes, like he didn't want to leave. The second was the beginning of this month. Jay and I went to stay with Chris this time, and for the same thing - a night out. Chris had to come and get Jay and I from the train station because we didn't know how to get to his new house. But before we were for the second train, Jay, Chris and I went to get a drink. Jay and Chris had some hot drink and I had a coke. The place we went to had sofas. Chris told me to go and grab a sofa because they usually fill up quickly, so I did. I sat on the very end of one and Chris came over pretty quickly and sat right next to me. Jay asked Chris if he could sit next to me and Chris was like, "There's a seat next to me, I won't bite her!" Chris spoke to me for all the time we were sat there, and then when we leaving I left a bit of my coke. Chris asked me if I had finished with the drink, I told him I had and I turned around to see him taking a quick drink of it from the same place I'd been drinking from. This confused the hell out of me, because he has OCD so I thought he would find doing something like that gross!? Anyway, we went to get the train to go to his place and when we got there, we had a few hours to kill before we went out so we listened to music for a bit, then Chris started playing tracks quickly and making Jay and I guess the name of the song, where it came from etc. When I got it right he'd be all enthusiastic, then when Jay got one right Chris would just quickly move onto another track or say something simple like, "Yep". Then when we went out, Chris was by my side all night. Whilst we were on the train, on the bus, walking or sat in which ever bar or club. He even shared my drinks all night then too, and kept offering me whatever he was drinking. On the way home, Jay wanted some food so we stopped at a takeaway. Jay ordered and then I went to stand outside. chris and Jay followed and because those two were talking about something, I expected them two to stand together but Chris still came and stood next to me. We got back to Chris' house and Jay ate and fell asleep almost straight away. Chris and I stayed up until going on 4am watching TV and talking about whatever. When we dropped up off at the train station the morning after, I think he was wanting to go in for a hug but my hands were full. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago. The day before we were met up, he was telling me that he might only be able to see Jay and I for 10 at the most because he was also going to be out with his other mates and that he didn't want anyone getting uncomfortable (a whole group and no one knows each other). But Jay and I got into town where we were going to meet Chris later. Jay and I had only been there for about 20 minutes and Chris phoned to see where we were and he came and met up straight away, with one of his other mates and he introduced me to his other mate first. Then the four of us decided to go somewhere else and we ended up meeting up with the rest of Chris' friends, and again, he introduced me first. We stayed with them for about 10-15 minutes, then Jay, Chris, Chris' friend (the first one we met), and I went somewhere else. We had a great night and Chris still sat next to me whenever he could, and if he couldn't sit next to me, he sat opposite me. At the end of the night, Chris hugged me and it seemed like he didn't want to let go! Chris also names things after me, in a way.Like the area Jay and I live in, Chris calls it [my name] toria. Sometimes I think he might like me, and other times I think he might just be being friendly. So, if anyone even bothered to read all of this, does it sound like Chris might like me?Even thought I love Jay, I think I'm falling for Chris. I don't know what to do! I want to be with them both for different reasons. Maybe if I knew if Chris actually did like me, it might make it easier to decide what I want.Any opinions?Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): I think Chris loves you.I am also in the same situation. I love this guy but I am very good friend with his girlfriend and I know how much she loves him.I think it's the same with Chris.
“The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting right next to you and know you can never have them.”
I know how Chris must feeling.Horrible....!!!
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